Lets Get It

Not much happened this past weekend. I had 2 midterms and one final. I think I did alright on all of them... Well I'd be surprised if I got anything less than a B on the midterms, I don't know about the final though. I'm going home next weekend because my sister got married. It'll be nice to be around the fam and to just be home but I'll be going back the week after that too because of Spring Break. There are two big occasions during that week: Amber's birthday and the opening of "Dawn of the Dead!{ Hell yeah, zombie movies need to make a come back. But now its time to get into philosophical mode...

What the hell is a wigger? break it down, it means white nigger right? So whys it okay to call someone a wigger? Its not, the whole fucking notion of a wigger is ridiculous. Its the easy way to call a race out because after all they are acting black right? No, you can't act black - how the hell can you act black? Its about a culture whether hip hop or not. Its about what you like and what you yourself are comfortable with - not what pleases other people. You mostly hear that word thrown around here and there when theres a white kid saying slang, listening to certain music, or dressing a certain way right? Its just saying racist shit that society doesn't consider racist. So its basically ridiculing a culture without someone thinking bad of it... Well just had to get that off of my chest... See this is the shit I think about, crazy huh? Well thats enough ranting and raving for now... I'll update more often this week so check back sooner

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D Elite

So I finally bought the cap I've been looking for since... well since this summer really. I went to the mall in search of various things yesterday with Amber. We found some, but not all... For one I didn't get Chappelle Show Season One because its sold out everywhere and is even on backorder on some web sites. But what I did find was a black throwback Detroit Tigers hat - why the Tiger's? Well its a black on black on black hat, just all black. Its got the D in old english on the front but its not really all that noticeable. Amber found her courier bag and then on we went to Krogers to get Paczkis in order to properly celebrate Fat Tuesday! Damn those are good, whether they're lemon or apple. Other than that yesterday was pretty uneventful I think....

Ant wrote about it being quiet today at dinner, I don't know about anyone else but I'm kind of in a funk due to midterms. I'm going to be really busy for the next two weeks... this saturday I have 2 midterms, sunday I have a final, wednesday I have a midterm, and thursday I have a midterm. 5 Midterms in about a week huh? yeah... that sucks but thats how it goes. This semester is definitely a lot more challenging than last, mostly for one reason: De la Cova. I can handle everything else but damn he gives so much reading to do. So not only do I have to study for everything I have to catch up reading about.... 300 pages for his class...

Today a lot of black people said whats up to me, a lot I didn't even know. I'm not too sure why... oh thats right maybe its because of the Ghetto D cap. Funny how that works huh? Before anyone says I'm crazy, let me just describe what happened today. While I was walking to math wearing it two guys I didn't even know just stopped to say whats up and see how I was doing... that was a little weird. Then in my math class three other guys I've never talked to since the summer talked to me, there was no real reason... I mean they see me three times a week in that class but never said anything to me before today. Then on my way home another guy said whats up. I know thats not a lot but it was a little out of the ordinary. If only the the damn thing attract more girls... oh well.

Write down my Number but don't call until you're sure

So much on my mind. I don't know if thats a good or a bad thing. I've been missing home a lot recently. I don't know why really... I mean yeah I miss my mom, my brother, sister, family, nephew - hes my heart. I changed the background of my phone today to a picture of him. I miss that little bastard. And before you think its bad of my to call him a little bastard - its what I jokingly call him. Hes a bad ass when he wants to be but hes a smart kid. But its not so much the physical home, I can sleep where ever, I can be comfortable almost anywhere, things like that - its the people of course. I'm just gonna reminisce a little bit and talk about a few experiences with people I haven't seen or talked to in a while and a few people I talk to often...

Damn I wish everyone that reads this could know all my friends well. They're the best people in the world, they're always there for me and never let me fall. We all slip every once and a while but we're each other's crutches and always seem to help each other back up on our own two feet. I'm not saying theres never static but we always seem to bounce back and my friends are probably the easiest to bounce back with because they care so much. I've been through my fair share of shit, some I don't ever talk about because its that bad and other things I can joke about. I wish I could joke about all of them but its not that easy sometimes... But I feel lucky as hell to have so many who would do so much for me and I hope they, you know I'd do everything I could to help you out. Whats the point of being happy if you can't share it with those you love? Yeah thats right, there is no point. So now just sit back and read about a few exploits. Whether you laugh because its actually funny or because you're laughing at my dumbass, its on you.

I remember going to Mega Play with X and Wayne, we were a little "lifted".... if you don't know what that means then just ask me but we decided to play some laser tag. It sounded like the best idea in the world... the only bad thing was we spent most of the time trying to get into the damn inflatable space ship bouncy thing where you're suppose to play in instead of actually playing. The guy running it knew what was up, he had his fair share of laughs but then reset the clock once we finally got in. It was so damn fun in there, so dark... and I was just geeking from it all. The bad thing about falling in a bouncy thing when you weigh as much as I do is that you don't bounce back up you hit the damn floor. I never really noticed the bruises until the next day... But it was fun none the less.

I remember going back home this past summer for birthday. A bunch of people got together with me at applebees. Kristin and Mike D hooked me up with a poster of myself that is hanging in my living room at home haha. Tony and Stubbs had all you can eat something or another. It was nice. Alright this idea isn't going to work. Theres too much to write about with my friends. The times just sitting around talking with people, playing games down in Erin's basement until the early morning, talking to randy, chad, chris, brandon and spending a New Years down there, kicking it with L doing nothing but driving around talking and making her listen to my music haha. All the experiences with the more than just IU crew - they're awesome. But the point is all of you have been awesome...

Something I noticed with Ant today was the two growing trends in clothing: urban and vintage. The one thing I think is that the urban throwback obsession has definitely been the catalyst for the vintage thing going on. I also need to buy more things like I use to, meaning like more ... ahh I hate calling it ghetto or urban because its just the shit I like, don't categorize it but you get the idea. I don't know what separates me from the other people I grew up with, how people are more comfortable talking to me than some of my peers growing up. Don't say it isn't like that either, its cool - its the way things are but someone tell me what separates me? Thinking about that sometimes drives me crazy, I don't even know why. Whats so different about me? I mean shit I'm someone separate from everything. I've heard comments about how I'm the "nice mexican" and how I'm not scary... I don't know though.

Enough about that, I had a good weekend and found the perfect hat I have to buy sometime this week.... To make things even better Chappelle Show Season One comes out on DVD this Tuesday. This week I get to drown out some thoughts with a hat and some DVDs, thats pretty shitty huh? haha well if you want to make my week a little better than sign the GUESTBOOK!

Song of the Day: "I Ain't Mad At Cha" by 2Pac
"Til God return me to my essence
Cause even as a adolescents, I refuse to be a convalescent
So many questions, and they ask me if I'm still down
I moved up out of the ghetto, so I ain't real now?
They got so much to say, but I'm just laughin at cha
You niggaz just don't know, but I ain't mad at cha"

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The 1 and the 2Pac

Its time to write about a little something called love. More specifically what I'm just going to call The Neo Syndrome. You see people are forever in search of the One. But whats wrong with looking for the one? Nothing actually but there is something to limiting yourself to what you believe to be the one for you. Its not about finding the perfect person for you, there is no such thing. Its about getting to know someone and finding the perfect imperfections for you. To think you're going to also just going to stumble across the perfect relation ship is kind of... lazy. Heres the scenario: You're in a crowded room, you look around the crowd and everyone seems faceless....until you come across this one girl. When you're eyes meet you feel something, the void that was once there seems full. You feel complete, you no longer feel like somethings missing because whatever it was its now there. You know you see something special and it has to be yours! .... yeah, I don't know about you but thats never happened to me. Whenever I've cared about someone its been after knowing them for a little bit at least, theres never been a "love at first sight" thing - but maybe thats just me. Then to think youll get something out of putting in nothing, ahh thats just lazy. But then theres the thing of knowing what you really want. As easy as it is to say I'm looking for "x, y, and z" - its a lot harder to really find and deal with something you thought would be so good for you. Its not about being destined to be with someone, its about making life what you want. Well thats all about love for now...

Tonight I saw a movie with the guys, Tupac Resurrection. I thought it was awesome, maybe its because I'm a huge Tupac but theres something about his music and his legacy. Theres nothing that makes you feel so hard as listening to some 'Pac. He died in '97 and Hip Hop is basically the same as the way he left it. Rappers still emulate him, they say the same things he was saying back then. I don't know when rap will evolve but I don't think theres a better person for rapper to take after. Thats all for now - I'm way too tired.

I know my Streets, I know my Sound

What a nice week. I didn't really do too much, I wanted to read a lot for Latinos but I read a little bit. I wanted to get ahead in a few class, or just get some head hahaha... its just a joke, don't get upset. But instead of getting ahead I got behind, and not the good kind. Alright, all jokes are done. I'm sitting here, just finished watching an episode of "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" with Ant and now Dr.Phil is on. I think I like watching Dr.Phili because the people on his show seem to be in their world... its just so different. But first, I'm gonna talk about the Fresh Prince...

I think its ridiculous that they have a fucking man servant. Not only a man servant but an english, more anglo, but oh wait - hes the darkest "member" of the faimly. In the episode Will comes in after playing some basketball and says "oh G, lemme get a glass of water" - what the fuck is that? Why he hell is the "ghetto - Illadelphia" kid juxtaposed with the while suburban banks family. Its just damn retarded, this show that I grew up with is so damn retarded. But thats alright, its not like we take anythin from entertainment right? Yeah....right... But today I gave a speech in public speaking. I had to give a ceremonial speech and my made up occasion was inducting Talib Kweli into the Hip Hop Hall of Fame. As soon as I started my speech I noticed some people gave me some looks, that was a little awkward but oh well

So I'm watching Dr.Phil and hes counseling this family. One of the daughters is having troubles in school because shes distracted by family problems. You know what? Distracted by family problems isn't as bad as being distracted by your lack of funds to send you off to college. Now thats a real problem, and although I know most will be like, well you're basically going to college for free - yeah I am but most people I know aren't. How many people are going to college that I grew up with in elementary school? Oh I don't know but I'm sure its not a lot. I know a lot of bright, creative people and they deserve a chance too. If anything Bush, why don't you just privatize basic industries in Iraq, charge some taxes and give out some more money for kids to go to college. I know that isn't the right thing to do, but hell running Operation Manifest Destiny 2004 aka Bush's conquer Iraq thing wasn't the right thing to do anyway.

Free iPods for young voters, thats how you attract the vote... at least the college kids. Seriously, Apple you want a tax break? USA you want more young voters? What the hell is taking so long? Well I've ranted enough for today... or at least right now.

Song of the Day: "Runnin" by 2Pac ft Notorious BIG
[2Pac:]
"We was young, and we was dumb, but we had heart
In the dark, will we survive through the bad parts
Many dreams is what I had, and plenty wishes
No hesitation in extermination of these snitches
Envious bitches, they still continue to pursue me
A couple of movies, now the whole world's tryin to screw me
Even the cops tried to sue me, so what can I do?
But stay true, sippin 22's of brew
And now media is tryin to test me
Got the press askin questions, tryin to stress me
Misery is all I see, that's my mindstate
My history with the police is shake the crime rate
My main man had two strikes, slipped, got arrested and flipped
He screamed THUG LIFE and emptied the clip
Got tired of runnin from the police"

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VDay with no VD, but plenty of PJs

Hey, hey , hey! Hows it going? Well I just thought I'd update really quickly on my VDay. I didn't think too much was going to happen but there were some eventful things. Just like last year's VDay, I spent this one without a Valentine but "can't no body hold me down!" Yeah, just like that...

Well this morning when I woke up I thought, "oh boy I'm going to be sitting around for a while until everyone gets up" But oh no, I didn't wait around too long. After taking a much needed shower I hit up Target with Ambergusesa! But to our dismay, the local Target's shelves were barren... no VDay candy left. Not a good sign, but I still had to get some stuff. Hell with no Valentine, I guess I can fatten myself up with some chocolate right? Well after I got back everyone woke up not too much later. We hooked up at Wright for a late breakfast/lunch. I didn't really know what the plan was for tonight, maybe just sit around the dorms and take a few shots or something.

After the cafeteria we went over to Nate Doggs and watched the IU vs Purdue Valentines Day Massacre. It was ugly, for anyone who watched. I planned on doing some Latinos reading but that didn't get done so after the game I came back home to work on some stuff. Didn't get much done since its All Star Weekend and they had the All Star Challenge tonight. A few hours later I was hungry so I went back over to Nate's to get some pizza with the guys. While in the elevator "Captain Korea" told us about a Pajama Party....

After trying to cancel the Pizza with no luck we decided to just sit around until eating then head out to find the PJ Party! Before that though I had to say hello to a friend of mine that goes by the name of Jim... Beam... Whiskey! Damn that shit tastes terrible but it gets the job done. Although it was a PJ party we didn't decide to change into some PJs, except Nate though. Well when we found the house we had to try to make it inside, it was a pretty crowded place with cups for $5! Yeah, I'm cheap so I didn't really want to give up 5 bones but hell, its a holiday. After getting two cups full I just hung out there with some people. Everyone seemed to run into people they knew, except for me... until I ran into Beth from my Public Speaking class. I also ran into another kid from the same class but I don't know the guy's name. After letting the beer settle I went for another cup but oh no, the two kegs were drained! AHH! But wait, Tom - the devil himself - stole one from a few houses down. The way people rushed to the keg you would've thought they were giving away money. I didn't make it in time though, the keg was empty again... and thats when it was time to call it a night. It was cool though, a nice place to just hang out and something that I'm sure I'll remember....

So that was it, I'm back in my room ready to go to sleep. But I just can't help thinking about others who didn't have a Valentine - I just hope they had as good a time as I did. Even though tomorrows not a holiday go out and spread the love kids! Peace.

Song of the Day: "I Can Tell" by the 504 Boys - if you know this song then you know whats up!
"Can I light a candle?
And kiss you in the places light won't show
I'll take my time and do it slow
I'll do my oral exercises
Right between your thighs
It's all very pleasurable, I'll go places he won't go
Lets keep it on the low-low
So he won't know
Now lets take it to the floor

You ain't gotta say too much
From the look in your eyes
I can tell you wanna fuck"

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Another One

Tuesdays are always a little more interesting for some reason. I got bought two new CDs today, "College Dropout" by Kanye West and "Pitch Black Law" by Pitch Black. I don't expect most people to know who they are but I'm sure most know Kanye through his work in one way or another. I haven't gotten a chance to listen to the Pitch Black all the way through but I've had the Kanye advance for a while and its definitely worth checking out. Hes the first rapper to recognize "Monkey Bread" in a song haha!

Well after getting the CDs ant and I went over to Barnes and Nobles, which reminds me how much I need to read. Before I would at least comic books - not the most intellectual thing in the world but you'd be surprised... Well after that I just sat around the room until dinner. It seems that we always run into people there... tonight it was Chizzel, Kirsten, and Michelle. There was this other girl who took a picture of each of us holding a dry erase board for some Valentine's Day thing... it was weird but unique. But after dinner, thats when it went down... To celebrate the new movie Barbershop 2 I decided to do my own sequel to my one time Barbershop sting so I shaved Ant's head! When I say shaved I don't mean shaved as in how short my hair is, its a lot longer... I think its nice.

Well heres another music rant. Gowdy, the rat bastard biggest douche of the world, keeps complaining about me listening to country. Now just because I listen to it doesn't mean I'm a fan. I'm sure that doesn't make sense to some people but just give me a second, being a fan means supporting artists and supporting the genre. I don't buy country albums, I listen to it at times because I enjoy it - you can call it a guilty pleasure, whatever the hell you want. You can bitch all you want about it but people will like what they like whether you like it or you don't. Stating your opinion is cool but trying to make people be on the "right" side is pretty... dumb. So with that said, if I don't like all your music - its cool. With that said, don't feel like you have to justify liking anything to me, just because they're "chicks/sexy/play instruments" - whatever, I don't care, you like them and thats alright. Every genre of music has been tainted by "the man" in one way or another, very little is as pure as snow. I'm writing a speech on Hip Hop so I'm sure there will be more rants about music in the near future.

Song of the Day: "Never Let Me Down" by Kanye West ft Jay-Z and J. Ivy
[Kanye West]
"I get down for my grandfather who took my momma
Made her sit in that seat, where white folks ain't want us to eat
At the tender age of 6 she was arrested for the sit-in's
And with that in my blood I was born to be different!
Now niggas can't make it to Balish to choose leadership
But we could make it to Jacob's and to the dealership
That's why I hear new music and I just don't be feelin it
Racism's still alive they just be concealin it
But I know they don't want me in the damn club
They even made me show ID to get inside of Sam's Club
I done did dirt and went to church to get my hands scrubbed
Swear I been baptized at least three or fo' times
But in a land where niggaz praise Yukons and gettin paid
It's gon' take a lot more than cuo-pons to get it saved
Like it'll take you a lot more than doo-rags to get you waves
Nothin sad as that day my girl father passed away
So I promise to Mr. Manny I'm gonna marry your daughter
And you know I gotta thank you for the way that she was brought up
And I know that you were smiling when you seen the car I bought her
And you sent tears from heaven when you seen my car get balled up, but
I can't complain what the accident did to my left eye
Cause look what a accident did to Left Eye
First Aaliyah, now Romeo Must Die?
I know I got angels watchin me from the other side"

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Now You Know My Name

Its already Monday, where the hell did my weekend go? Oh I know, I slept through it. I didn't get too much done which sucked but hell I got enough done to update this. Not too much happened today. I had two class, worked out, and shaved my head! But here's the rundown with the classes:

I haven't been to K201 in a week. I thought that I could skip when I wanted and not miss a thing since everythings in the workbook. Well I learned my lesson today. We had to do some review work in there which I didn't know how to do. I felt like an idiot but I guess that means I'll be going to class on a regular basis now. No more sleeping in during the week until I get done with A100. After class I decided not to go back to sleep and instead I worked on some readings for Latinos. Then I had my math class. I got my first test back... the test the teacher said I couldn't have had done since I finished it so fast... well she was wrong! Hell yeah I got a 93% on it, my prof also said its usually the lowest test score kids in the class have so things are looking good for that class. The only thing that really happened in that class was the girl who sits in front of me introduced herself ot me. She usually sits in my vicinity but shes never said a damn thing to me. I know its nothing but its just nice when a girl initiates a convo with you, ya know?

Well I got quite the surprise today when I checked to see if I had any tests going on the weekend my mom was suppose to come down here. Well the Saturday she was going to be here I have 2 test, one of them is a midterm the other one I don't know what the hell it is. Then the next day I have my accounting final. It looks like the upcoming weekends are going to be busy with studying for those damn things.

I haven't ranted about music for a while so here I go - GO OUT AND BUY "COLLEGE DROPOUT" BY KANYE WEST. Seriously, it comes out tomorrow and its some good, real music. Real music, whats he mean? Well in rap theres a lot of bullshit out there that talks about money/cash/hoes but this isn't more of the same. It isn't cookie cutter, it does its own thing. Its Underground to a certain extent but its got pop appeal. Whether you buy it or not I'm sure you'll hear some of it on the radio and you'll be hearing more from Kanye in the future.

Song of the Day: "Two Words" by Kanye West ft Mos Def, Freeway, Harlem Boys Choir
"Two words, Chi town, raised me, crazy
So I live by two words, "Fuck you, pay me"
Screamin, Jesus save me
You know how the game be
I can't let em change me
Cuz on Judgment Day, you gon blame me
Look God, it's the same me
I basically know now we get racially profiled
Cuffed up and hosed down, pimped up and hoe down
Plus I got a whole city to hold down
From the bottom so the tops
the only place to go now"

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Just a quick update. My Explorer got stuck twice this weekend. We got it out once with the help of an asian man but when we needed time the second time he was no where to be found. "Momentum!" he'd yell, we tried asian man we tried... but it didn't work the second time. So instead of trying to keep trying it push it out of the parking space I had to wait it out... Today the car in front of me finally decided to move so I got out of that parking lot.

Today while working on K201 stuff I was listening to a bunch of things but for some reason I've been listening to Tim McGraw a lot. Yeah, I know most of you probably boo Country every chance you get but its not too bad. Maybe its because of the mood I'm in? I don't know, I've just been a lot more expressive of things lately...

I'm really looking forward to next year. I think it'll be awesome to have my own place with a bunch of friends. More people will be down here, it should be interesting at least. Speaking of more people down here, I've been talking on the phone a lot more lately to different people. My moms been calling more, I'm talking to Wayne more and L too. My Moms been saying "I love you" after phone calls now, its nice... I don't know, I never really thought much of it before because she never use to say it ever but I guess I'm just a momma's boy because when my mom says it I just get a smile on my face. Well I gotta get back to work now, I'll try to not be so lazy with school work and have more time to blog.

On Some Bullshit

Instead of studying for my finite test tomorrow, reading for k201, or seeing if I can do my latino's quiz I'm here writing. I think this room has that affect on people, it just makes people not want to do shit. Its counterproductive but I don't really mind. I think this weekend its going to be catch up with latino's reading, k201 tutorials, plan my 6 minute speech, and get ahead in my accounting class. I'm not too sure whats going to be up this weekend but I'll make the best of it.

I think I'm a fairly easy going person. There aren't too many things that get to me but I don't know, it seems lately more things are. I wish I could just shrug things off but I don't know, when I get like this I tend to act like I don't care about shit... Which isn't the best of attitudes when it comes to dealing with stuff but hey thats just what I do. I know I shouldn't act like that but eh its worked so far. I mean, when things hurt me the most I act like it isn't shit to my, just a scratch that'll heal quickly. I don't really know where I get it from either but the older I get the more I realize who I get it from... I'd hate for you to think I took a lose when all I did was shook it off, I know no one will get that but its something from a DMX song that my brother once said to someone and I think the older I get the more I realize "oh shit I'm really similar to my brother." But to think that shit is okay because I act like I don't care isn't all that great...

I know back in the day I use to just smoke and forget about things. One of the funniest moments I've had getting over shit was probably when Wayne and I drove around for hours one night after smoking. I had just bought the Isley Brothers CD which had "Contagious" on it. Well after talking to Wayne a few hours about Special K, not the drug - a girl, I just heard this song and I busted out just singing. He laughed his ass off for a long ass time since I played it about 10 times in a row just singing. It helped so much and it seemed like that was the perfect thing for me to do to finally just finish things...

But now I don't smoke. There was an incident with my parents, they asked me to stop and I did... Now that I'm a little more "independent" I still don't. I'm not exactly sure why, at first it was because I respect my parent's request to stop smoking while I lived in the house - but now... I don't know, I think that everyone does their own thing and that just doesn't happen to my thing anymore. I don't look down on it or think its bad in any way, its just I'm in a different place with things in my life and that isn't for me so much anymore. I don't know if I'd do it again, maybe I'll be there again sometime in my life but right now it isn't there. That goes for anything too, sometimes I'm just not into doing things because its there and I'm able to - its about how I feel at the time.

Sign the damn Guestbook! No gimmicks here, just sign it. Its just like me, its been getting no love recently.

Song of the Day: "Look Thru My Eyes" by DMX

"This is it, that nigga's got to give me a place
For the same reason that fate, chose to give me away
Take away hate, now I'm supposed to love the one that cursed me
The one that wouldn't give me a cup of water when I was thirsty
It was always his versus me, but now I gotta teach him
Personal feelings put aside, cuz now I gotta reach him
What I'd like to do is turn my head, like I don't know him
But it seems like I've been called on to show him
So I'ma show him
And if you never met me, then you've no right to judge me
I've got a good heart but this heart can get ugly"

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Looking for my Spaceship...

This weekend I was going to study my ass off for my Accounting midterm. Well shit went down, nothing major just things like getting stuck in the parking lot, sleeping on floors, and watching Chapelle Show. Nothing major happened. My midterm got delayed half an hour because the Proctors couldn't unlock the door to the lecture hall we were suppose to be in. About 30 kids left because no one knew what was going on and the Proctors didn't announce shit about staying. So tomorrow I get to find out how I did on the test that cost me a Purdue weekend. Although I didn't go to Purdue I still managed to have fun back here but I'll have go to Purdue sometime this semester.

Well I wanted to write a lot more but I have to plan a 6 minute speech, study for a test, work on a project, and read about 130 pages sometime this week. Oh yeah, I have to do some laundry too... ahh this weeks going to be great.

Song of the Day: "Spaceship" by Kanye West ft GLC, Consequence
"I've been, working this graveshit
and I ain't made shit
I wish I could, buy me a space ship
And fly... Past the sky"