'Cause the more we get, the more we takin from other people

Another beginning of the week with the end of the weekend - Mondays are the worst days of the week. Today wasn't that bad tho, I have to admit I was tired as hell. So tired in fact, that I fell asleep in both Calculus and Intro to Business Management but the teachers were just joking about everything and didn't seem to mind too much. So then I came home and did my routine, dinner and the SRSC. It was a nice time like always - made my day like always. But I see that I've been given the moniker, Mexican Prophet, by the one and only Gowdy. I don't know how to respond to this - I mean is it a good thing or is he mocking the crazy ideas my mind conjures up? Well either way, its nice to know that some people have been able to look through my eyes and that they actually take the time to read my mind. This blog has kind of taken its own life, sure I include things about my life and stuff but I tend to just let my ideas grow legs per say. Well here it is again - I'm appalled by the state of the music Industry, mainly mainstream rap. According to the RIAA, hip hop is the second most popular form of music in America but it is also the fastest growing market in the US to boot! So why exactly am I upset? I mean I love hip hop and I should be glad that it is finally getting the attention it deserves right? Well, yes and no - the "Man" has once again stolen something personal from the ignored communities and has turned into a mind numbing profit machine! Look at the mainstream rap, everyone claims to be thugs and gangsta - some even claim to have mafia ties. Well the first thing you learn when not living life legit is that you don't brag about the shit you do, due to the fact that you don't know whos a rat and who can stay loyal. Saying you're hard kinda defeats the purpose of being hard, talk is talk - thats it! Just look at what happened to 50 when he said names in the song "Ghetto Quran" - he got shot 9 times! Hip hop is more of a lyrical witty arena not some damn platform to glorify violence, or an infatuation with a Scarface complex. Yeah I know a lot of rappers haven't always lived legit and they recount their stories thru their raps but those who have learned from what they've done have a different tone to their rap. I mean look at Cam'ron compared to Nas, they both talk about violence/drugs/sex/etc. but Nas has more of cautionary tales - he paints a picture, whereas Cam'ron just glorifies being "hard/thugged out." Being hard and thugged is exactly the image that the mainstream wants, they want the extreme of what they've always ignored - Poverty/Race issues/violence/drug epidemics in the ghetto. The mainstream has an infatuation with making the fantasy a reality, and most rappers don't claim to still slang anything, except for the lame ass Dip Set. So now what do we do? I mean if the mainstream wants an extreme of something than how can we possibly be surprised by the actions of those who are raised in an environment where they are lead to believe that its popular to be hard/thugged out? I'm not saying censor anything but I think that certain companies should just look at exactly what they are pushing onto the minds of people, people are easily influenced but instead of trying to distinguish between the extreme and the reality they just keep pushing these false realities. It seems that the media has construed everything to make us be infatuated with things we previously didn't know about. The media has made you think rap is all about bitches/blunts/drugs/killing, hasn't it? Honestly think about it and then ask yourself why this is? I've been listening to "thugged out" hip hop since I was young as hell, but I've also been living in the ghetto - I know this shit happens, I know the dangers of being this or that and that is why I don't mimic the behavior in songs. But what about all these thugged out kids who live in the nice ass homes with rich parents? Honestly, they've never seen the dangers of drugs/violence/life in poverty can create, not to say they're ignorant but they just haven't seen it first hand. It changes your view of things when you see stuff in reality - which leads my to this: If someone starts to fancy rap, don't you think they would want to know more about it? Or atleast know what inspires it or what caused it to be created? Well not anymore because they are bombarded by this homogenized portrayal of what Rap is. So whats the point to this? Next time you have a selection of what to listen to, vote for a video on tv, or ask for a song on the radio, think about what you're asking for and just why you're asking for it. Sure you could go with this catchy tune by sextuple time platinum 50 Cent, or you could go with something a little different that may not be as catchy but has substance. How does the mass media affect your likes/dislikes about music, clothes, behavior? Think about, maybe you'll find something about exactly who you are.

Song of the Day: "How Ya Livin'?" by Az featuring Nas
AZ: {Verse Two}
"American Me, elgancy, treasury
Wit the hopes to be rich before the bury me
Born a Baptist, but moved on to higher practiceMy fire ashes, only macks I interact wit
We all Dons, strong arm, all on calm
But if it's war we on, comin' for niggas who crossed me wrong
Select features, sit back connect the pieces
Inject the thesis, spoke to my pops and left him speechless
He saw me sprout, goin' through worlds that wore me out
Never call me out, bitches and money, that's what we all about
Through all the routes landed here, beach houses wit the chandaliere
Me & my crew, mad cans of beer
It's copin', live vibe, still eyes open, it's clear
Presidential Suites at the Tangiere"

Mexico, Lindo y Querido

What a weekend... full of rain, cookies, and Lotuses. Friday was a hectic day, trying to fit 6 people into my ride of the gods, aka the camry was pretty difficult. But it was well worth we, we all went to a chinese buffet to eat until we dropped...good times. But the ride back wasn't, if you thought fitting 6 people in my car was hard, try fitting 6 full kids into it. Then you gotta add all the rain into the mix, plus a lost then found hat, and you have Friday night... Well saturday was a little drier, went to the Hispanic Heritage Month Festival w/ stubbs and amber - it was kinda well...dead but I got 2 free t shirts so whats up now!? Well since that was a bust we went to La Bamba, with burritos as big as your head. Its not just a slogan at this place, its the reality of it - it was genuine Mexican food so I loved it of course. Then we sat in front of Urban Outfitters and just kinda observed different things - it was a nice calm day... At night we meet up with everyone and went to Kirkwood to see what was going on with Lotus Fest and everything else... just your average festival full of very unique individuals..yeah thats it... Then today it was just shopping and Anthonys orchestra concert, which was nice...Well now on the the point of this entry: Going to the Hispanic Heritage thing and listening to Mexican music made me think of Mexico more so than I have in a long time... Damn do I miss it, even if I am pretty Americanized I can never forget about where I'm from, its such a big part of who I am. I got 3 hours worth of Rancheras(older Mexican music) today and damn I love listening to it. Usually I just listen to it with my pops at home, he loves this stuff. My mom use to tell me stories about how I use to eat breakfast with my grandfather, who passed away a few years ago, and just lay with him on the hammock(sp?) and just sing songs in spanish...all the memories. I feel like a kid whos been taken away from his mom, you know where shes at, you miss the hell outta here but no matter what you can't get to her - I haven't been to Mexico in 4 years! I don't know, when I listened to the music earlier I just remember everything and it almost put me in tears. I just want to go back to be there - I was born there, my family is there... I just miss the air, the life, the feeling about being where you're from, know what I mean? Its the frame work for who I am, the underlying customs and traditions. For those of you who are away at college and are homesick at all, just imagine that feeling times 10. I mean if you really wanted to go home you could drive or catch a ride, its not that bad of a trip but for me to go to Mexico, especially where I live it would take 3 days of driving. Its just a completely different atmosphere, I like lounging around down there and not really worrying about anything...Where everyone is like you, you're not the minority - there isn't so much damn division of race. I'm sure some people down here don't feel like everyone is like them but for the most part, the majority is similar to you...I don't know, I think thats one thing that bothers me about the US. Everywhere is in the world there isn't so much the division of race as there is the division of nationality. I mean the black people who are born here are hated by some white people when both of them were born in the same place, they should consider each other brothers no? I just don't know, with a country thats so educated and what not you would think that it would suffer soo much from the division of class/race/social status. The division only grows larger and larger every year... but thats a horse of a different color. I gotta do some Calculus homework now kids, so how about you go check out the songs of the day eh?

Song of the Day:
"Mexico Lindo y Querido"
"Wishin On A Star - Green Lantern Remix" - For those of you who want one in English
"See the hood if the thief that stole my innocence young,
niggas jumped me cuz they couldn't beat me one on one" - 50 Cent

Amen - I mean Alady

Another long night... another hard morning...getting out of bed sucks, I just have to remember not to schedule early classes next semester I guess. Well on my way back from W131 I over heard these two girls talking about pop culture and one of them says, "Jesus is like Santa Clause." WTF? So I started thinking about religion and its role in the world, so here goes... Wait before I get to that I just have to say something, Gowdy you rat bastard - take jabs at me in your diary will you? Don't worry, I won't do it back all I have to say about it is this: I officially nominate Nate Gowdy for biggest douche in the universe award! Hahahaha, take that you bastard! Now onto what this whole post is about - religion - I personally believe in a form of Christianity, there are just some things I have I disagree with...Don't worry I will justify exactly why I feel the way I do about religion... So on to my views on religion... I don't really know what I believe in myself, let me explain. There are so many damn translations of the bible and what it means, who says one "interpretation" is more accurate than another. I mean if I were alive back in the day when the different interpretations were being made, and I were ruler well I would tell the interpreter to contort things that were more in line with my personal views... I know that sounds bad but honestly if people can believe in divine right and even claim to have been appointed by God than I'm sure they would change some of what the bible has, don't you? So I see organized religion as a tool used by those in power to oppress some people and make people conform to what they believe in. I dont' go to church, yeah I'd like to but I think finding personal religion and establishing a relationship between you and what whatever you personally believe is more important than going to a building once a week. I know church is more than that, I mean I use to go to church every sunday growing up - hell I even went to Christian Church Camp every summer with great excitement! But I think now religion isn't the same... and religious icons are becoming a marketing tool. In a store down here they sell Velvet Jesus! Who makes the profits, the people who came up with the idea, or the church? What church? Religious Icons shouldn't be used to sell something, as children grow up seeing shit like that they will think of Jesus in the same light as Ronald McDonald - if you don't believe me just give a few years. Then thats when people will realize we idolize our "consumption ideology" more than any religion, but maybe I'm just crazy. So now to justify, religion as a tool to oppress - just look at how Christianity was used to get slaves to conform and you'll know exactly why I think that. For more evidence I give you this - November 25th 1491 - Santiago defeats the last Muslim strong hold in Europe, so the Pop declared that day be a day of giving thanks for all european christians. In essence they are giving thanks for the strength to kill anyone who doesn't accept Christianity, but that isn't too christian is it? Now onto why I don't think one interpretation is more accurate than another - Well the name Christ is actually Greek for one who is anointed, or so I've read, I've read what his name is believed to be historically correct but I can't spell it and its nothing like whats in most versions of the bible. Another question I have about the bible is that if man was created first than how come a woman bears a man? How were men suppose to have more children - maybe its just a way to further establish male dominance, or maybe I'm just crazy.. Now I have to end this with one last thing, whatever you believe in - more power to ya! Live your life the way you see fit according to what you believe in or what you don't believe in, but do what you personally believe to be true. Whats the point of going to church if you don't honestly believe in it, ya know? So just do what you believe in...

Song of the Day: "What Goes Around" by Nas

"[Chorus]
Ecstasy, coke - you say it's love, it is poison
Schools where I learned they should be burned, it is poison
Physicians prescription us medicine - which is poison
Doctors injectin our infants - with the poison

[Verse One]
Religion misoverstood is poison
Niggaz up in my hood be gettin shot - given poison
In hospitals, shots riddle the block
Little, children and elderly women run for they lives
Drizzlin rain come out the sky every time somebody dies
Must be out my fuckin mind, what is this, the hundreth time?
Sendin flowers to funerals, readin rest in peace
You know the usual, death comes in threes
Life is short is what some nigga said
Not if you measure life - by how one lives and what he did
And funny how these black killer companies is makin money off us
Fast food, cola, soda, Skull & Bone crosses, it's all poison
[Chorus]

[Verse Two]
Religion misoverstood is poison
Sisters up in my hood try to do good given choices
When pregnant, drop out of school or have abortions
Stop workin hopin that they find a man that will support them
Up late night, on they mother's cordless
Thinkin a perm or bleach and cream will make them better when they gorgeous
White girls tannin, lyposuction
Fake titties are implanted, fake lips that's life destruction
Light-skinned women, bi-racial hateful toward themselves
Denyin even they blood
I don't judge Tiger Woods but I, overstand the mental poison
That's even worser than drugs - yo it's poison

[Verse Three]
The China-men built the railroad, the Indians saved the Pilgrim
And in return the Pilgrim killed 'em
They call it it Thanksgiving, I call your holiday hell-day
Cause I'm from poverty, neglected by the wealthyMe and my niggaz share gifts, e'ryday like Christmas
Slay bitches, and party e'ryday like this is the last
I'm with my heckles, connectin and we hittin the lab
This is my level, fuck if it get you mad
It's all poison, all of my words to enemies it is poison
Rappers only talk about ki's, it's all poison
How could you call yourself MC's? You ain't poison
Think about the kids you mislead, with the poisonAnd any thoughts of taking me down is all poison
Who want beef now, my heat shall anoint them, plaow"

Don't Come Unprepared

Well what else is there to say? A lot actually... I went to the gym and WOW! there was this Asian guy there in this "singlet" with white and black stripes, zinger!.... he was straight out of an 80's work out video - yeah but he was seriously working out. When I went to the bathroom there this guy heard me talking about him and he says "Oh that Asian guy in the zebra suit," yeah hes infamous. Then when he walk into the weight room everyone who sees him is just snickering to themselves and laughing it up! It takes some balls to wear that, and boy you could probably see his if you tried to... so the work out went well, stubbs had to head out early to study for his damn calculus test, I'm glad I got that done with yesterday... So then I came back to my room, showered and bam! theres an invite to go see a Bob Marley documentary at the Union so of course I want to go, I mean they thought this guy was the second coming! Yeah but somehow he died of "cancer" at the age of 36 I think, sure... But moving on, so we get to the Union and see pretty good sized groups of people standing around, for what you might be asking? Well to try to get tickets to go see it, then we found out that there were no more tickets... Chaos ensued and thats when I pretty much left, I didn't want to try to sneak into a movie that would have no seats, nahwahimean? So I walk back to my dorm in the freezing cold dressed in a not so warm t-shirt and gym shorts...what joy I tell you! Well after that I didn't do much, but I had this pretty bad ass convo with amber about race and the media. It was cool to talk to someone about this, and I'll have to leave you with it. Oh yeah, if you forgot to read today's earlier entry, make sure to check it out - it has the song of the day. Check out the convo, well at least part of it here: Oh yeah some backstory before I get to that, we joke around about how Amber wants to be Mexican due to her taking Spanish and being in the "Latinos and Other Immigrants" class. I also proof read this thing she had to do for Spanish that was pretty good - I was impressed but with out further a do tho:

The Convo
PbcRealness: now all we need to get you is some dark eye shadow, dark lipstick, and a "La Raza" shirt
indianalabrat: yeah! what is with the latinas?!
indianalabrat: and that dark lip liner
PbcRealness: I dunno, maybe they think its cool.... its kind of gothic actually - I never really thought about it much
indianalabrat: i don't get it. because mexican women are really pretty and then they put all that shit on their faces
indianalabrat: cultural differences i guess. but wet n' wild (cheap makeup company) probably makes a killing
PbcRealness: I'm sure they do, we have to educate the young hispanos to not look so damn stereo typical and scary to some people, do you think of them as scary looking?
indianalabrat: ahahahahha! you're not scary looking, but you're an exception to your culture
indianalabrat: a lot of them i do
PbcRealness: lol yeah I'm like the anomaly
indianalabrat: i'm not putting down hispanics at all, i want to be one, just the way they want to look i don't understand yet
indianalabrat: lol.... yet
PbcRealness: lol yeah, to be honest I think it has to do with how the media portrays us so that way we feel that in order to be hispanic we must conform to the hispanic image, if not then we aren't hispanic.... but I could care less about my image being mexican or not
indianalabrat: yeah. that'd be so hard. and youre right, i think it's like the study they did about black kids. they'd make fun of the kids who were doing well in school and call them "white" because black people in the media are seen as people who don't care about school
PbcRealness: yup, I hate how the media makes people look... even in music, if a black person isn't rapping about being a pimp/gangsta/ or being hard, then they don't really sell as much as those who do
indianalabrat: yeah, why is that?
indianalabrat: this is the kind of stuff we should be learning about in culture fest
indianalabrat: not where lasagna originated from
PbcRealness : I don't know, I think that you aren't socially accepted unless you conform to the masses and even worse is that if you try to be an individual then your own people see you as a sell out
indianalabrat : white people have it so easy
PbcRealness : lol well.... minorities don't call the man, the man for nothin
indianalabrat: it's like, you want money? go to school. you want success? go to school. you're not going to educate yourself? what's the matter with you?
indianalabrat: ahahah, that's true.
indianalabrat: in minority groups it seems like education is looked down on sometimes
PbcRealness : education is seen as something that can almost only be obtained by the rich/white and then if you do succeed minorities automatically think you think you're better than them... transcending social/economic classes isn't always great
indianalabrat: that is crazy. so many people don't know about this kind of stuff
PbcRealness : I'm going to post this convo in the blog, if its alright with you
indianalabrat: lol, yeah, go for it!
PbcRealness : alright, I just wanted to make sure you were alright with it before I went the gowdy route
indianalabrat: ahahaha
PbcRealness : but I seriously want to have a discussion on this, most people right off social/economic classes as something of the past because "everyone can go to college if they want"
indianalabrat: yeah, that is bullshit
indianalabrat: they try and make it seem like college is free
PbcRealness : yeah, I mean it is free for me lol but I'm like the one in a million who actually accomplish it
indianalabrat: well there are too many people that think just because you're black or whatever that you just are handed things
indianalabrat : and that's not tru
indianalabrat : i mean, i joke sometimes about wanting to be a minority, but that wouldn't solve anything
indianalabrat : especially not easily
PbcRealness : yeah, getting a little extra money for college isn't shit when you face a bunch of other shit
PbcRealness : every time I'm pulled over the first thing the cop asks me is "Is this your car?Whose is it? Do they know you have it?"
indianalabrat : exactly. like, yeah, a minority may get 4000 dollars more than a white kid to go to school. but when the white kid's parents are raking in 20 grand more a year than the minority's parents, that 4000 is nothing
indianalabrat : that's crazy!
PbcRealness : yeah it is, people don't try to look at things through other people's eyes
PbcRealness : Just because a business is an equal opportunity employer it doesn't mean t hey hire a bunch of minorities, the store I work at only has 1 other minority besides me and my brother
indianalabrat : yeah, palmer's has never hired one
indianalabrat : i wanted to call 20/20 when i quit
indianalabrat : they could do a secret thing
PbcRealness :yeah, its funny how everyone thinks racism is gone just because we accept things a little more but I think things are getting worse, people just choose to ignore most problems now
indianalabrat : i think so too. people are poor because they can't stop being poor. it's not because they're lazy. there's a rut that people keep digging
indianalabrat : and it's not the people that are in it doing the digging
PbcRealness : yeah, for this economy to work, there has to be a lot of poor people
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The Morning After

Yesterday wore me out, Calculus exam + Computer exam = head exploding... Its true, but in order to recover from that I slept a hell of a lot today, how much you ask....Well it was a little under 11 hours, you heard me right! It was pimp tight, to make things even better what was the first thing I did this morning after getting dressed and everything? Go to the bank and get a little bit of money, its always nice to get a few bucks.. So I went to target and bought some much needed things for myself and Stubbs. Stubbs' list was pretty funny - listerine, and tootsie rolls! Sorry Gowdy but I didn't buy any more expensive juice that you can lie about drinking, asshole.... Well I was suppose to get my M211 test back today but the teacher said that 2 people have to make it up so we won't get our grades until tomorrow!! I can't wait, I really hope I did well...All I want is a B, that's it but the good news is that the class average is 82%, now for the bad news, I'm the only one in my class who hasn't taken Calculus before so maybe I'm the one that brought the average down the most... At least I'll find out tomorrow for sure, if I got anything less than a B- I'll have to lock myself in the room over the weekend and make Calculus my bitch! So when I got back from class I ran into Gowdy for the second time today and we got into a talk about the value of hip hop, excitin' huh? He actually said he thinks they should have a Hip Hop appreciation class here, which is a bad ass idea. He even told me how he thinks Hip Hop is the most diverse music there is since it can be deep/witty/articulate and how the rappers get their ideas across with simple words. I have to admit, if there's someone who I never thought would say that, well Gowdy would be almost on the top of the list. I'm really glad he realized that tho, most people just write it off as "profanity laced boasting" but its really not. I did my Senior paper on Hip Hop and if you want to get into a discussion about its meaning, how it got to the point of mainstream, how/why it developed, etc then just drop me a line and I'll kick some knowledge your way. You probably can tell I'm pretty adamant about it, well I am - its a big part of my life. Well I should start on some crazy calculus homework now but I might update later tonight so make sure to check it out again but for now, Autobots Transform and Roll Out!

Song of the Day: "Good Mourning" by Talib Kweli
"What's the meanin of ghettofabulous
Not ridin the back of the bus
I'm a revolutionary antagonist
Some playas is mad at us for just doin our music out of love
Some underground heads is hatin cause we have fun at clubs
I'm probably on some government list for my rhymin
You a fool if you don't think they already tapped your line
Medicine is big business so my remedies is herbal
It's music is for the people so we Reflection Eternal
Listen, you hear the difference between science and science fiction
We blow it out like if you leave on every appliance in the kitchen
at once; still rolling kind bud in Cuban blunts
On the corner watchin how kids comin to Brooklyn for they fronts
Niggas run past what they need chasing after what they want
Fuckin chumps, you walk down the street and get jumped
Brooklyn cats like to bubble out of town no lookin back
When you a ghetto chef you mastered the art of cookin crack
Some get caught sleepin on the Mother City so when they go
They come back as tales of niggas we used to know
Never looked up to see the stars in all they heavenly glory
Just straight ahead cause the peripheral is buildings with mad stories
Not floors but dramas is played out, shorties get laid out
like respect and fade out like TV sets
into the banks of our memories (let it be) we'll never forget you
Lyin on your deathbed askin for God to bless you

[Hook: Talib Kweli]
Good mourning, good afternoon, good night
What have you done with your life?
Everybody time comes to be embraced by the light
You only scared to die when you ain't livin right, man
I'm puttin up a hellafied fight
{*Hi Tek scratch: "Stay awake to the ways of the world"*}"
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Watching the World Go By

Another Wednesday has come and gone, without the need for bolt cutters - thank god! So how was your day sweet heart? Mine was pretty good, I didn't want to get up this morning but I had to, for I had W131 to go to. It was wierd, we talked about this Anti-Bush poster that was in a coffee shop and all of a sudden the symbolism hit me like a frieght train... I don't want to sound all high and mighty but I felt like I was the only one who was contributing to the class, and the best part was everything that came out of my mouth was worth a million bucks, as if I were rapping with platinum teeth! If you can tell me who originally said that then I'll make you a CD! So I have to write a paper about observations I made on a business, I chose Borders Bookstore... Its a little crazy but maybe I'll post up the paper somewhere when I finish so if you want to read it, you can... So after that class I came home for a little bit and then I went to the library to talk to my W131 teacher... I was a little confused about this paper since its kind of broad but when I talked to her she pointed how much I contributed to class, hell yeah! And then she read my observations and said I had everything that I needed for my paper already there, so I left feeling pretty confident... Then came the last minute cramming for my Calculus and Computer Science tests... by cramming I mean looking over the material for about 5 mins while playing a video game - I mean if I don't know this stuff by now then I won't get it at all... So then came the Calculus test, I thought it went really well... sure there were a few things I didn't have completely right but I had everything there - the worst part is that when I left the room the answers to all the ones I didn't know for sure popped into my head... that sucked... Then I had Business Management...what can I say other than the teacher played "Pass the Courvoisier," what a nice old man... I ended up falling asleep in that class and I actually had a dream, it goes a little somthing like this.... Well I can't really remember but I do remember that I was being shocked in the dream and thats when i woke up and kicked my legs out and swung my arms around like a damn retard... Its a good thing the people around me laughed.... So that class got out hella early and I went over to A110, where I had to take another test. It was like a merciful death, quick and painless - it took a whole 10 mins to do then I was done for the day... On my walk home I ran into Sammie and she gave me a ride. For those of you who dont know, I was down here for the summer taking classes and earning a scholarship... My room mate for the summer was Mark and his g/f is Sammie, she tends to get a little crazy... by a little I mean a lot, but she is a really nice person - she always bought my lifesaver gummies! So I ended up at the VP to get money orders to pay for my bills, you should've seen the cashier's face when I asked for a money order worth 98 cents, priceless... So after that I did a whole lot of nothing until the clock struck 6:45... You guessed it, I went to dinner with the gang [Note: it smelled like someone spread some doo doo butter all over the floor at Wright] Then we went to the SRSC and did out "thang," not only did we do our thang but it was also a G thang baby! So now I'm left with nothing to do for the night except watch the funniest shows ever, i.e. "The Daily Show With John Sterwart" and "Tough Crowd with Collin Quinn." Then tomorrow I only have math recitation at 1.25 and thats it! Nice eh? Well the little red light keeps blinking so that must mean the time is up....

Song of the Day: "Got Some Teeth" by Obie Trice
"Okay, okie dokey Obie's here
No more focus, hobo's got a career
And I like your brassiere and there's a party in here
And I'm ready to talk naughty in Veronica's ear
She erotic and it's hot, saw Heineken beer
Put it to the side and invite here to "Cheers"
Pull up a chair, swear no drama
Therefore player your workin with a MONSTER (*yelling*)
I ain't got time to waste, let's vacate the place
Shut blinds and drapes, grind to your face in a grimy state
Concentrate, you will find that your bound to get
But we found what's fate
We can watch two incredible mates masterbate
Why settle and wait
Let's escalate to the nearest who bang
To your rear is on the mirrors and they smearin booty cheeks
C'mon"
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Don't try to claim things I haven't earned honest, man

Well how's it going out there? Everybody having a good time? Glad to hear.... I'm doing pretty good. After writing Myself Vs. I I was a little drained... I'll admit I was expecting to hear from at least a few people about what they thought about it, I mean everyone loves feedback but I gots none. None! I feel like I e-mailed Santa Clause himself with my Christmas List and he never wrote me back... In other words, it sucked! Oh well, I can't go around to everyone and make them write me something about it can I? Hmm.... So tomorrow I have 2 major exams, one in the devils arithmetic M211 and then one later on in Computing, yeah it sucks. However, while I stand here in the open field looking down at blades of grass bent by the wind, I notice that the wind has picked up and I feel the force behind it get stronger and stonger... I know its come, the clouds grow darker and I feel it coming, the onslaught of the tests. But instead of running for shelter I stand there, like a devoted sentry at his post not willing to budge, for I am ready for this shit! I got what it takes to tests the tests themselves! And you know this, man! Hahaha.... Just had to do that to pump myself up for tomorrow. I don't want to think too highly of my skills but I am confident that whatever is on those tests, I can figure it quickly with computer like accuracy.... Guess what everyone? I don't have any classes on Thursday, how nice is that eh? Actually I lied, I might have my math recitation but it starts at 1.25 so I'll be able to sleep in like whoa...So what'd I do today you ask? Classes, played some 2K4, studied, the SRSC... yeah my days tend to run into each other... Well this entry was kind short you're probably think huh? Its on purpose, I gots shit to do like write 2 pages for my English class tomorrow about borders and consumption...yup. So I'm out for now, keep on droppin like an impala!

Song of the Day: "Street Talkin'" by Slick Rick feat. Big Boi from OutKast
"OutKast and Slick, the answer is in it
Hon you need to get your ass on the dancefloor this minute
We bruise stuff, knock you out shoes, socks
Show your ass, move your fuck out, we're mad smoove snots
La-Di-Da-Di, mmmmm we like to party
Don't make me get money and platinumize my body
with bright stuff, known to earn a dyke's love
Blind folks be like, "Somebody turn the lights off"
Immense rep, poppin out a muffin
Make famous artists that's dead hop out a coffin
At the real estate, behavin type choosy
Want a palace with the shit beige and light blue please
Got the kid like "watch your melon"
Since I came out of jail, it's like the planet gone bananas
Lack of strength a badder fella had
Lady lookin at me all stink, I had to tell her that"
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Myself Vs. I

I realized something this morning that I should've noticed sooner...During english class we were discussing the image that an anti-consumption coffee shop has as opposed to a coffee shop such as Starbucks. It was a pretty good talk but while everyone was busy thinking of a thesis to be used in a paper I was busy thinking about my life... Since coming to college I have seeked my independence. I've felt like I put myself here so now I should be independent and just do "my thing" but it isn't that easy... The more "independent" I've become the more I realize exactly what being indy really means... Everything in life depends on something or another to live, the new born baby to their mother, a farmer to his crops, so why is it that society has made us believe that independence is so important? I mean if we are truely to become independent what would that make us? Life depends on everything, the balance of dependence is crucial to survive, so the notion of independence creates a small problem... If we truely become independent, what would we be? We surely would be something different wouldn't we? Since there is no way to truely become independent I look towards the question of Why? Why do we have this desire to be independent? If you don't believe me than look at pop culture: Divorce rates are high? Being divorced means being independent, at least more than being married. Even the most popular movies convey this image of independence...The Matrix has it with Neo, he is the one, Star Wars has it with Anakin and even later Luke, they glorify the individual and in turn cast the idea of independence...So society has created this unquenchable thirst for independence... but its more than that. American society in general is about the individual, when most people feel like a grown ass man they leave the house - they seek independence, they feel hindered by their parents. Whereas Mexican society embraces the idea of family and togetherness much more... So I find myself at a point in my life when my Mexican persona(togetherness) is competing with my American persona(the individual)...What am I to do? I’ve always had to switch between the two growing up, but there is no way to achieve a perfect balance...I am after all considered the most American in my family...I mean so far it seems that I've become an individual and have sought my independence but then I look around me, those who I hang out with most here - you know who you are - are really all from home. So instead of removing myself from home I've actually delved deeper into the idea of home... Independence isn't true, it’s an image that is glorified by pop culture and it’s an image I no longer want to partake in... I've always wanted to do my own thing but in doing so I'm doing what pop culture wants me to do so now I find myself asking "how much of our own thing can we do?" The answer isn't by what we can do but by how we define ourselves, and how we define ourselves is with our loved ones, our families...because at the end of the day, they are who made you who you are - they actually define you. So now where am I at? I don't know, I still have more things I have to discover but what I do know is that I made a mistake... I believed in this popular notion of becoming "myself" and in doing so I didn't become myself at all, I became the homogenized me and I don't like it. It doesn't mean I will change how I act, but instead it will change my demeanor towards my life, the ones I care about the most - the Fam, not just my blood but those I consider close to me, who knows, maybe I consider you family. So now I have to re-discover in a sense, who I actually am and I can't do that without other here to help me. My independence has led me to the dependence that I probably never had. The dependence not of physical but of emotional, who I am is dependant on those who define me. I know this will sound like jibber jabber to a lot of people but take a minute to look around you, who you are is define by those you keep close! Look at your friends, look at your family - they have in one way or another shaped you... So now I must undo what I did...how? I dunno yet... but let me know what you think, even if you live down here e-mail me with your reactions, whether you think I'm crazy, however you feel about what I wrote. I really want to know what you think, so don't disappoint me...


Song of the Day: "Theives in the Night" by Mos Def and Talib Kweli a.k.a Black Star
"'Give me the fortune, keep the fame,' said my man Louis
I agreed, know what he mean because we live the truest lie
I asked him why we follow the law of the bluest eye
He looked at me, he thought about it
Was like, "I'm clueless, why?"
The question was rhetorical, the answer is horrible
Our morals are out of place and got our lives full of sorrow
And so tomorrow comin later than usual
Waitin' on someone to pity us
While we findin beauty in the hideous
They say money's the root of all evil but I can't tell
YouknowhatImean, pesos, francs, yens, cowrie shells, dollar bills
Or is it the mindstate that's ill?
Creating crime rates to fill the new prisons they build
Over money and religion there's more blood to spill
The wounds of slaves in cotton fields that never heal
What's the deal?
A lot of cats who buy records are straight broke
But my language universal they be recitin my quotes
While R&B singers hit bad notes, we rock the boat
of thought, that my man Louis' statements just provoked
Caught up, in conversations of our personal worth
Brought up, through endangered species status on the planet Earth
Survival tactics means, bustin gats to prove you hard
Your firearms are too short to box with God
Without faith, all of that is illusionary
Raise my son, no vindication of manhood necessary

[M.D.] Not strong
[T.K.] Only aggressive
[M.D.] Not free
[T.K.] We only licensed
[M.D.] Not compassioniate, only polite
[T.K.] Now who the nicest?
[M.D.] Not good but well behaved
[T.K.] Chasin after death
so we can call ourselves brave?
[M.D.] Still livin like mental slaves
[both] Hidin like thieves in the night from life
Illusions of oasis makin you look twice
[both] Hidin like thieves in the night from life
Illusions of oasis makin you look twice

[Mos Def]
Yo, I'm sure that everbody out listenin agree
That everything you see ain't really how it be
A lot of jokers out runnin in place, chasin the style
Be a lot goin on beneath the empty smile
Most cats in my area be lovin the hysteria
Synthesized surface conceals the interior
America, land of opportunity, mirages and camoflauges
More than usually -- speakin loudly, sayin nothin
You confusin me, you losin me
Your game is twisted, want me enlisted -- in your usary
Foolishly, most men join the ranks cluelessly
Buffoonishly accept the deception, believe the perception
Reflection rarely seen across the surface of the lookin glass
Walkin the street, wonderin who they be lookin past
Lookin gassed with them imported designer shades on
Stars shine bright, but the light -- rarely stays on
Same song, just remixed, different arrangement
Put you on a yacht but they won't call it a slaveship
Strangeness, you don't control this, you barely hold this
Screamin brand new, when they just sanitized the old shit
Suppose it's, just another clever Jedi mind trick
That they been runnin across stars through all the time with
I find it's distressin, there's never no in-between
We either niggaz or Kings
We either bitches or Queens
The deadly ritual seems immersed, in the perverse
Full of short attention spans, short tempers, and short skirts
Long barrel automatics released in short bursts
The length of black life is treated with short worth
Get yours first, them other niggaz secondary
That type of illin that be fillin up the cemetary
This life is temporary but the soul is eternal
Separate the real from the lie, let me learn you
Not strong, only aggressive, cause the power ain't directed
That's why, we are subjected to the will of the oppressive
Not free, we only licensed
Not live, we just excitin
Cause the captors.. own the masters.. to what we writin
Not compassionate, only polite, we well trained
Our sincerity's rehearsed in stage, it's just a game
Not good, but well behaved cause the ca-me-ra survey
most of the things that we think, do, or say
We chasin after death just to call ourselves brave
But everyday, next man meet with the grave
I give a damn if any fan recall my legacy
I'm tryin to live life in the sight of God's memory
Like that y'all"

Alone at the Bottom
I thought I felt like shit yesterday but nope I was wrong....Shit not only hit the fan today but it was flaming shit that hit the fan at thousands of miles per hour... I just want to curl up in a damn ball and sleep until next summer when everything would be different maybe even better. I mean what is life? Just wanting things to be better. Things can always be better right? If not then why bother waking up in the morning...Things can't always be bad right? The bottom of the barrel only goes so far - once you hit it theres no lower you can go but it still sucks being at the bottom. I feel like a damn fish in a barrel(while I'm speaking of barrels), I'm just waiting for someone else to come around and be like "Gee its easy to just shoot this one, hes not going anywhere" and bam it happens - shit gets worse. I guess that how it works, in order to be someone on "top" someone has to be on the "bottom." I'd love it for my friends/loved ones/family to be on "Top of the World," hell I'll even hold the world in place for them but then it seems like those at the top inadvertantly spit on those at the bottom. I don't feel like I've been through a great deal of terrible things, I didn't live in a concentration camp, I wasn't a slave, I wasn't shipped off to fight in a "war" but I think if I told some people the shit I've been through they wouldn't look at me the same way. I'm no 50 Cent whos been shot 9 times, including the face, but hell I have had a gun pointed at my face - who it was makes it even worse... but thats not something I share with most I just feel pretty lonely right now and I feel maybe you, or you, or you would be willing to listen... I don't want anyone to feel like this is directed towards them its just general... but now is the time to make myself feel like everythings ok.... If I'm dropped hard enough to the bottom maybe I'll bounce closer to the top and even be able to hang on? Maybe I'll get lucky and someone from the top will extend their hand down to the bottom and try to pick me up(have you seen me? Its not an easy feat by any means). Or maybe I wont get lucky at all and somehow I'll fall through the cracks of the barrel and fall even further down, who knows? Certainly not me and theres no way to find out other than just waiting to see....

2 for 1!
Thats what the damn Purdue parking attendants must've said when they saw my car, seeing as how I got not 1 but 2 damn parking tickets while I was there for about 20hrs. I hate purdue, the campus looks like a damn rich people prison. All the buildings look the same, there are no tress, and the streets street signs have numbers on them! I was just expecting to read one that said "Cell Blocks C-D." Well since I refuse to interpret someone's blog a la Gowdy's cut and paste job of Anthony, I will just tell you to check out Anthony's since he has a great way of summarizing exactly what was good and what was bad about this past weekend. Well today when we got back we all crashed and burned for a while since we were so damn tired!! I still am pretty tired, I don't really know why... I would mention all the stuff that went on tonight but I'm pretty tired, I'll have to inform everyone about it in tomorrow's entry or something... Watching Blow made me....I dunno, it put me in a different mood. It was a really awesome movie that made me just look at things in a slightly different light I guess. I also talked to my brother, sister, and parents today.... I miss them, I never really felt like I had missed them but I dunno - watching the dysfunctional family in Blow reminded me of my own and I just wanted to talk to my folks right then and there... Well it looks like I'll be going home in mid-Oct, I can't remember what weekend someone wilL have to remind me again...and again...and again until the day actually comes... well I'm out for now, hopefully I can watch something funny on Comedy Central to get me out of this somewhat sad/ reflecting/ wierd mood...

Song of the Day(fri & sat): "Get By" by Talib Kweli
"[Verse 1: Talib]
We sell, crack to our own out the back of our homes
We smell the musk at the dusk in the crack of the dawn
We go through "Epidodes II," like "Attack of the Clones"
Work 'til we break our back and you hear the crack of the bone
To get by.. just to get by
Just to get by, just to get by
We commute to computers
Spirits stay mute while you eagles spread rumors
We survivalists, turned to consumers
To get by.. just to get by
Just to get by, just to get by
Ask Him why some people got to live in a trailer, cuss like a sailor
I paint a picture with the pen like Norman Mailer
Me and Willa raised three daughters all by herself, with no help
I think about a struggle and I find the strength in myself
These words, melt in my mouth
They hot, like the jail cell in the South
Before my nigga Core bailed me out
To get by.. just to get by
Just to get by, just to get by
We do or die like Bed-Stuy through the red sky
with the window of the red eye
Let the lead fly, some G. Rap shit, "Livin' to Let Die"

[Chorus: Background singers]
This morning, I woke up
Feeling brand new and I jumped up
Feeling my highs, and my lows
In my soul, and my goals
Just to stop smokin, and stop drinkin
And I've been thinkin - I've got my reasons
Just to get (by), just to get (by)
Just to get (by), just to get (by)

[Talib and background singers]
(ba ba ba, ba da bada, ba da bada, ba da bada, ba da badahh
Just to get (by), just to get (by)
Just to get (by by by by by by)
(ba ba ba, ba da bada, ba da bada, ba da bada, ba da badahh
Just to get (by), just to get (by)
Just to get (by by by by by by)

[Verse 2: Talib]
We keeping it gangster say "fo shizzle", "fo sheezy" and "stayin crunk"
Its easy to pull a breezy, smoke trees, and we stay drunk
Yo, I activism - attackin the system, the blacks and latins in prison
Numbers of prison they victim black in the vision
Shit and all they got is rappin to listen to
I let them know we missin you, the love is unconditional
Even when the condition is critical, when the livin is miserable
Your position is pivotal, I ain't bullshittin you
Now, why would I lie? Just to get by?
Just to get by, we get fly
The TV got us reachin for stars
Not the ones between Venus and Mars, the ones that be readin for parts
Some people get breast enhancements and penis enlargers
Saturday sinners Sunday morning at the feet of the Father
They need somethin to rely on, we get high on all types of drug
When, all you really need is love
To get by.. just to get by
Just to get by, just to get by
Our parents sing like John Lennon, "Imagine all the people watch"
We rock like Paul McCartney from now until the last Beatle drop"

This is for you, the Brother's Warner
What did I get in my inbox tonight? A damn letter from Warner Brothers accusing me of having an illegally downloaded version of "The Matrix Reloaded".... well it is true, I did have a copy of this movie but I feel like its ok. Let me just tell you why I think its ok:1) I paid to see this movie in the theatre, sure I was paying to use their facilities but the movie studio got most of the money. 2) This movie is no longer in any theatres - not even the dollar theatre. 3) The DVD won't come out until a few months. 4)This should inspire film makers to include extra stuff in the DVDs in order to convince bootleggers to still buy the DVD because of all the special features... This sounds like good reasons to me and it should be good enough to the movie industry. Greed has overcome every facet of the economy, sure people will probably say "You're just a cheap bastard that doesn't want to spend his money!" Well I feel like companies should make me want to spend my money by putting out a quality product. I don't support bootlegging but I do support such thing as fansubs. Like in the anime market, certain series that US distributors are afraid to bring stateside will be translated by fans and then sold on the internet but wait! The sites don't use the money for their own benefit, they use it to hire more translaters and to buy more equipment to bring more series to the US. They don't do it for the money, they do it for the love...Sure they accept donations, but I doubt they really bank on it...It may be a poor example but hey it works! So now I just want to become a huge exec, and do something revolutionary that will change a certain form of distribution of media... Why don't they make files that "self destruct" after a certain amount of time? They make DVDs that do it, not in the sense that they blow up but that they erase themselves after two days. This new technology is being thought about being used in rental stores so instead of having to return a DVD it would just stop working. If they can do it then why the hell can't they do it with computer files? Why can't they offer "low quality" versions of songs/movies that would "self destruct" once the retail version is available? Call me crazy but I think that wouuld work....Well as you can tell I'm pretty worked up about this, I would write my governor about this but hes dead so what can I do? Vent in my blog...
P.S. Screw you Warner Brothers!!!!!!!!!

Song of the Day: "When We Ride" by 2Pac - this very graphic song was inspired by the frog fukkers known as the "WB"(explicit lyrics ahead)
"My adversaries crumble when we rumble it's a catastrophe
I pull revenge on bitch niggaz that blasted me
Plus my alias is Makaveli
A loaded three-fifty-seven with hollow points to a nigga belly
Bust him to see if he bleed, he shoulda never fucked around
with a sick-ass nigga like me
They call my name out and niggaz run, best be prepared
for the Outlawz, here we come"
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Taking Shots At Big Ben Like We Got Time To Kill
Another Hump Day has come and gone withing any actual hump in it...So todays been a fairly easy day. I woke up to find out that it was supposedly 55 outside but low and behold, nah it wasn't anywhere near that...I half asses an assignment that was due in W131 today and I thought maybe it won't be that bad but when I saw other people's and they seemed to have written a lot more than I did, but I have to say I was concise and to the point so maybe my dinky paragraphs won't really be that bad....We then talked about this essay on the illusion of fun and buying into a culture capital. I then realized how much people really do buy into a culture, as in buy something because it is "hip"(I hate that word) and the connotation that comes with that. If I ever start my own corporation I want to make it somewhat face less, I don't want to project an image in any way shape or form, I want the logo to just be a thin box with a bold border, meaning it will be blank for you to decide what ot make of it. I know its probably not marketable from an exec standpoint but its what I want to do...So then I came home, got some breakfast and then passed out, I slept sooo good, I've never been so deprived of sleep for a week straight....M211,X100,and A110 went by quickly and pleasantly, I'm glad I don't have 4 classes on the same day for the rest of the week... Well after that I came home, did some calculus homework - had my head explode because it was so crazy, picked up the pieces, finished it, then I didn't do jack... until Gowdy called. Yeah, we(everyone) tried to go to a 50's diner but by the time they got there, they had run out of food! They should've known that a lot of kids were going to go...so instead we went to McDonalds alias Public Enemy #1, it wasn't the best of choices to make before goign to work out but only Stubbs and I made the trip over to the SRSC, granted we are the ones who need it the most tho. We didn't get there until 8.30 something so we had to hurry but we did end up doing a lot actually, except I didn't do too much running...a double quarter pounder doesn't sit well with running... so I came back here and once again I find myself writing in this more than I have written for an english class in a long time...Jeff came over to get help on his math, I'm always glad to help people...maybe its all those comic books I read when I was young but I really like helping people and I wish I could help people with atleast a little bit of something, I also hope people don't misjudge my helping for something else but what can I do? Well its time to read some stuff so I'm out, and Shannon if you're reading this - the best way to say bye in the ghetto, "One"...you can take the man[me] out of the ghetto but you can't take the ghetto out of the man

Quote of the Day:"I'll give you ku ku, in your poo poo" - The Now Infamous Roommate, Matt Stubbs
Song of the Day: "Cherchez LaGhost" by Ghostfast Killah feat. U-God
"Brothers try to pass me, but none could match me
No girl can freak me, I'm just too nasty
Lost on the dance floors, I attack y'all
Snuck through the back door, guess who they saw?
Goldie and Ghost, black African Rose
Star-studded low lenses, plus the mural was dope
Airbrush W-B's, STOP!
(Shake your body, body)
And cop a couple of these
(She's a hottie, hottie)"
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Can I Kick It? Yes You Can
Banzai! Well a tuesday has come and gone and not much has gone with it....I had to get up and go to X101 - it wasn't that bad, we had to set up a schedule and make quiz questions for an upcoming Jeopardy game, fun eh? Then I came home and played a little NFL2K4 aka ESPN Football, I'm getting obsessed with it, how sad....Then I went to Target with Amber - she picked up much needed candy corn and I had to get some milk and my new narcotic.... baked apple squares. I don't know what it is about them but damn I just can't go a day without them... Amber also told me stories about her relationship with her room mate, I don't want to air out dirty laundry so I'll just have to tell you to ask her about it...she also brought to my attention that kegs are now being tracked by use of a sticker that is placed on the keg - I don't think thats fair, I mean how much more big brother can we get? What will they think of next? Installing cameras on kegs that fingerprint you in order to let some one get beer our of it? I mean come on, geez if it wasn't observed in the past and here we are, then how terrible will the future be if they don't track kegs? Sure our world isn't perfect but I don't think tracking a few kegs will do anything but piss off kids/parents and give cops more work to do and more opportunities to treat us like crap, its a military sate. I'm done venting...So then I came home and did some laundry, it took much longer than it should...if they can track a keg why can't they make a washer/dryer than to do one right after the other in a timely manner? So I ended up missing my a110 lecture, whoops... Then as I was walking to Kirkwood, namely Soma(coffe shop), I ran into Stubbs and we drove down there and I got that done right quick...So then I just kind lounged around and waited patiently for dinner/work out time to come. So as usually we went, did our thing, and went our ways....So now I find myself done with all my homework for tomorrow, done listening to Stubbs' "The Source Vol.2:Bext Hip Hop of 1998" wondering why Master P ever caught on, and wondering what to do tonight...well maybe I should sleep, that would be nice but instead I'll vent some more about Big Brother. I hate being watched, I hate being observed by the Ominous Man...Theres something about that, it irks me to the point of no return. The more and more Big Brother takes over, the more and more we as a society will cease to be a free nation and the more it will become a Police State. I mean they're already screwing us with the Patriot Act, what an ironic name no? Well I dunno, maybe I just don't love this country so much that I have to feel like I need to control everyone of its citizens and screw the people I don't like...Well in the immortal words of a famous pig,"Thats All Folks!"

Song of the Day: "Spread" by Andre 3000 - a member of OutKast
"I don't want to
move too fast but
cant resist your sexy ass
just spread, spread for me

Dont want to come on too strong
but I'll play in you all day long
just spread, spread for me"
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Piles Upon Piles of Filthy Clothes
As you can tell, tomorrow will be laundry day....Hopefully tomorrrow I do my calculus and get ahead in my class while my clothes are getting the treatment. So what did I do today? Well I went to math class, business, and computer class all of which were boring and I even slept in math and business. I think I can learn just as much by not going to class but instead studying the book but I continue to go to class because I want to get the whole "college experience." So I listened to the whole new OutKast Double CD today. One CD is by Big Boi and the other is by Andre 3000. This is definitely something special, one half hip hop - one half love concepts but its awesome. When I first listened to it I was a little turned off by Andre's CD but the more I listen to it the more I like it. Hes a crazy, creative genius and then Big Boi's just keeps on getting better - the more I listen to it the more I appreciate the lyrical level he has achieved. So what'd I do today? Well I went to eat dinner with Gowdy, Amber, and Anthony - Stubbs caught up with us later on while we were at the SRSC aka Hell aka Run Fat Ass Run...yup it was a good time like always. I always hate going but while I'm there I begin to appreciate it and I really enjoy lifting weights...yeah it kills me but hey I'm a masochist or something. So I just came back and tried out the new body wash I bought and Amber taught me how to use the "poof" of whatever its called, its the feminine version of a wash cloth. It turned out to be a success and I could get use to it actually....Well thats about it and I'm pretty tired so for now I must unplug myself from the Blog
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Strike While The Iron Is Hot
Well I haven't struck while the iron is hot since I haven't written in this thing all weekend...I should have tho, this weekend was awesome. It consisted of Me, Stubbs, Gowdy, Amber, and Anthony going to various places while telling stories of the past whether it be about things we experienced while working, fights, body functions well...more like lack of control, and just life in general. There are too many things to list but I have to admit, Anthony did a great job of summing things up. I've never had so much fun sitting on the floor of a lobby starring at a statue shitting in hell before... Well theres not much to say about my day really, we had a talk in W131 - it wasn't too bad but not I have a writing assignment for Weds, damn her.... I've been inspired by everyone these past few days to write about my views on leaving home and being independant...I find other peoples views really interesting so heres mine: I am a little sadden by leaving home by I've always tried to look at things in a positive manner. College is forward progression, its something that will change my future. I don't get homesick due to the fact that I think everything in life, good or bad, is an experience that we can all learn something from. No matter what happens I try to better myself by coming away with something that I previously didn't have. If the future is progress then dwelling too much on the past will make me take a few steps back from where I plan to be. I think the past is something we should value and cherish all our lives and relationships(in any way,shape, or fom) should always be held close to ones heart, the past has made us who we are and losing sight of the past meanings lose sight of our essence and identity. I look forward to solidifying who I am in this world and coming here enables me to do that... So yeah I am a little home sick, I miss my friends, family, etc. but I don't think I will lose sight of them or myself. I hope everyone back home understands that no matter what I go through here and how often or not we talk, I am the same person I was when I left and I will be the same person I am will I return. Sure, I'll have changed somewhat but my family(if you really know me then I consider you family) is what gives me the strength to go on - they, you, are my crutch that prevents me to ever fall. I might slip a little but you are who has kept me strong throughout the good times and the bad and I'll never forget that. I owe who I am and who I will become to you. Don't think badly if we don't talk as much as we'd like, because in the you're still who I am. Leaving home was hard, I'm a momma's boy I can admit it, but I have to stand on my own two feet and take my future into my own hands. I'll always physically miss being home but home isn't a house its the people(all of my fam) and if I keep the people in my heart, then home is always with me. I'm expanding my home and who I am with the new people I meet here... Well thats all I have for now, hope you enjoyed

Song of the Day: "The Industry" by Wyclef Jean - heres part of it
"[Intro]
Yeah I wanna dedicate this to everybody that love hip hop music
Cause without hip hop music I wouldn't be here today
Preacher's son, yeah

[Verse 1]
Imagine if Biggie and Pac never got shot
And they both still were rulers of hip hop
And Puffy and Suge was roomates from college
And Big L never got found in the alley
Nas and Jay-Z they were still homies
Squash the beef with Ja Rule and 50
Benzino shook hands with Eminem
And on the same record I heard Eve, Fox and Kim
And sometimes when I dream, that's when I wake up
I kinda hoped that The Fugees didn't break up
And when they walked into the studio I prayed they didn't spray
Cause I miss that scratch from Jam Master Jay (Whoa oh oh!!!)

[Chorus]
Shots go off, mother's cry
Death since rise, homicide
Black on black crime needs to stop
Y'all can't blame it on hip hop
Cause what we say is what we see
What we see is reality
The ghetto's the ghetto you got them livin in sorrow
Soon they won't live to see tomorrow"
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I Just Called To Say...
Well hows it going everyone one? How are the wife and kids? haha...TGIF! Remember when we were kids, atleast kiddier than we are now. It was the thing to watch TGIF then talk about it at school the following Monday. Atleast thats how it was at Hawthorne, the school I give credit to for making me as successful(academically) as I am. So how was my day? Well let me tell you a little bit about last night. I finished my homework in a timely manner and was planning on going to sleep early but I ended up reading a bunch of stuff on different theories whether it be about the Matrix, 2Pac, or various other things and then I made Stubbs listen to some freestyles by Skillz, "Virginia's original player" - he aint mad no more, and Joe Budden. Then as I went to sleep I ended up turning on the TV and what was on? Bowling For Columbine, an awesome documentary... but for some reason Stubbs thought it was a movie about a Bowling Charity Event made for those affected by the Columbine incident HAHAHA....I finally turned it off and went to sleep but before I knew it I was awake getting dressed to go to W131, we had to do peer reviews and the people I worked with thought my paper was strong! Then after that I went over to Swain East to check my calculus homework answers....yeah I felt good after I saw I only missed only answer, that made me feel good.... Then I came home to rest a bit before math and I watched the South Park Lord of the Rings spoof, it was good stuff....M211 went by pretty quickly and I just came home and went to the mall with Stubbs so he could return his MC Hammer pants he bought yesterday. Then we decided it would be best to work out again so I got dressed and went to the SRSC with Stubbs and Amber. Then who decides to show up? Anthony and Gowdy, it wsa cool tho - it was nice having everyone there. I'll admit it feels cool to work out with everyone and its become a big part of my day. At first I didn't know how working out in a group would go since I had always only worked out with one or two other people at the most at once but I have to say its a lot of fun. Although I hate running, I like being around those guys - good stuff, this is what college is made of haha.... Well now I'm just waiting for Stubbs to get outta the shower so I can go take one so while I'm here I would just like to say a little something about tomorrow. Tomorrow will be September 13, 2003 - I don't know how many of you know this but tomorrow will be exactly 7 years since 2Pac was killed. There are a ton of rumors saying hes going to come back i.e. the 7 Day Theory, not from the dead but as in he faked his own death a la Machiavelli whose name he adopted later in his career. Another reason I bring this up is because I think if 2Pac would be alive today(I don't believe the rumors) he would be leading another movement to improve the life of all those who suffer in America. Atleast thats the feeling I get, he had a way of reaching everyone who heard him speak(not just rap) and his views on his songs may seem contradictory but he really believe in certain things which I respect and he believed in what he said even to his grave. As you can probably tell I feel like listening to his music really changed me. I think I can remember how it changed the way I looked at things after he died...Well to commemorate this event my songs of the day for this weekend will all be 2Pac songs but not just any 2Pac songs, very diverse awesome songs even if you hate rap so make sure to check them out...

Song of the Day: "Until The End of Time" by of course 2Pac, its the whole song so you can probably bet its a keeper since this is the first time I've post up a whole songs lyrics sans the chorus:
"Perhaps I was addicted to the dark side
Somewhere inside my childhood witnessed my heart die
And even though we both came from the same places
The money and the fame made us all change places
How could it be - through the misery that came to pass
The hard times make a true friend afraid to ask - for currency
But you could run to me when you need and I'll never leave
Honestly, someone to believe in, as you can see
It's a small thang to a true, what could I do?
Real homies help you get through
And come to knew he'd do the same thang if he could
Cause in the hood true homies make you feel good
And half the times we be actin up call the cops
Bringin a cease to the peace that was on my block
It never stops, when my mama ask me will I change
I tell her yeah, but it's clear I'll always be the same
Until the end of time


Please Lord forgive me for my life of sin
My hard stare seem to scare all my sister's kids
So you know, I don't hang around the house much
This all night, money making got me outta touch, shit
Ain't flashed a smile in a long while
An unexpected birth worst of the ghetto childs
My attitude got me walkin solo, ride out alone in my lo-lo
Watchin the whole world move in slow-mo
For quiet times disappear, listen to the ocean
Smokin 'Ports, think my thoughts, then it's back to coastin
Who can I trust in this cold world?
My phony homey had a baby by my old girl
But I ain't trippin I'm a player I ain't sweatin him
I sex his sister, had her mumble like a Mexican
His next of kin, no remorse it was meant to happen
Besides rappin the only thing I did good was scrappin
Until the end of time


Now who's to say if I was right or wrong?
To live my life as an Outlaw all along
Remain strong in this planet full of player haters
They conversate but Death Row full of demonstrators
And in the end drinkin Heneessy made all my enemies envy me
So cold when I flow eliminatin easily
Falls to they knees, they plead for they right to breath
While beggin me to keep the peace (haha)
What I can see closer to achieve
In times of danger don't freeze, time to be a G
Follow my lead I'll supply everything you need
An ounce of game and the trainin to make a G
Remember me, as an outcast Outlaw
Another album out, that's what I'm about, more
Gettin raw 'til the day I see my casket
Buried as a G while the whole world remembers me
Until the end of time"
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The Jump Off
Well yup I finally got a chance to sit down and update this today...Let me tell you a little thing about my day, don't leave things until the last minute. Theres a point to this just let me explain my day...I got up and went to go ol' X101, learning about learning stratigies...it was alright tho, we worked in groups and I got to work with those two guys from GROUPS, I can't recall their names but we just made fun of things the whole time. After that class I went over to my Library to ask my W131 teacher a question, theres something about that teacher I just don't like...maybe its her lame jokes that no one laughs at but herself or maybe its the fact that she told everyone to not expect anything higher than a C on the first few "college level" papers we have to right. Shit like that pisses me off royally, I mean yeah lets just tell these kids no matter how much they try they won't do good at all. So then I came back to my room and had about half an hour before I had to go pick up a book I never bought to begin with, see waiting till the last minute sucks....Then I had to get to my A110 lecture which was boring as hell and the guy next to me kept making dumb ass remarks about the teacher... Then I came home, and took my ass to Target to hopefully buy the new 2K4 game but no, they were out of it..So stubbs got some cheap ass clothes at the mall and now I'm thinking, maybe I'll buy some new clothes too since they're so cheap...Well I came back and went to go eat and to work out with Stubbs, Anthony, Amber, and Gowdy... Working out has come to be a major part of my day.... we ran into some belly dancers on the way out and Stubbs had to lay his mac down and talk to them for what seemed like hours...after that I just came home and talked online,took a shower, wrote the rest of my english paper which I also waited until the last minute to do. But then what happened? I read what is suppose are suppose to be the main plot points to the "Matrix Revolutions" yeah not Reloaded but the newest one that comes out in november. So I guess its true what Keanu said about the third one, its about death. No don't worry I won't spill the beans for you but the third one is going to shock everyone.... it sucks when you're just sitting on a treasue but you can't tell anyone.... Well I think I might go see Reloaded this weekend at the Union for free but other than that I dunno whats going to happen...well kids I gotta be up in a few hours so I should get some sleep...

Song of the Day: "Walk With Me" by Joe "Jump Off" Budden - his self titled debut out is in stores now, everyone should buy it, believe the hype
"Got bigger issues, if you went to Def Jam would you notice
If they was out for my best interest or do they just see a dollar in Joseph?
(Ugh) Guess I ain't sure how I feel anymore
Ever since I got signed I can't tell what's real anymore
I mean them same record execs that wanted me in
Don't care that I'm the next nigga, they just wanna see spins I swear
Guess I ain't sure how I feel anymore
Ever since I got signed I can't tell what's real anymore, you feelin' me dog"
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Grand Champ
So todays been a fairly good day, classes weren't too bad and then I finished my calculus homework in like 20 mins, hells yeah! So then whats that? I came across a leaked version of the new Dark Man X CD thats due out in stores sometime next week, it even gets better....this is a version that has not only all the retail tracks but also those that X decided not to put on the CD. Sure its usually not good to hear the stuff that the artist doesn't want you to hear since it isn't their best work in their opinion. But don't worry, I'll still pick up the retail version of "Grand Champ," I gotta support the artists I like... oh wait this is his last album, still I gotta give him my money for giving me..2 great CDs and 3 or 4 good albums. So I went to work out again, yeah thats like...3 days in a row! Whats up now huh!?! Now I just need to set up a plan of what I want to do when I go on certain days....and I have to make sure Stubbs doesn't drop anymore weights on his face hahaha....Kolski also pushed me to not slow down almost the whole mile we did so maybe he'll be my running mate from now on...Well I gotta start and finish writing my english paper tonight before I go to sleep so I'm out

Song of the Day: "Put Your Flag Up" by Rza feat Black Knights
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Up From the 36 Chambers
Well I didn't get a chance to update again last night due to a little something I like to call the "Gowdy Effect." Let me tell a little story... so it was about 11.45 close enough to midnight when Gowdy starts begging for a ride somewhere. Being the nice guy I am, I of course picked him up and took him to do what he had to do...so I ended up coming back, playing some SC2 and then going to bed... But let me explain a little bit about yesterday: Last night we(Gowdy,Kolski, Stubbs, Anthony, and I) went to work out again. Gowdy kept going on about how wonderful the rowing machine is for you so I tried it, didn't seem all that great to me but maybe I'll do it for 20 minutes next time. Then we went on to lift weights when it dawned on me....I'm about as strong as a crippled slug... so hopefully next week I can build some real muscle and not feel so damn weak. Now this morning I woke up with a tarrible pain in my stomach, what is it? I dunno, maybe I'm developing an ulcer... So how I got a few hours to do whatever the hell I want, I think I'll try to catch up on some homework and then play some more SC2...
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Sorry, can't think of anything witty
Well tuesdays and thursdays are usually my lazy days but I don't think I'll have too many lazy days now that I'm going to be working out regularly. I was about to drop my X101(Learning Strategies for Business) but then I realized I would only have 12 hours and that class is worth 3 hours so I might as well take it. Sure its mostly a waste of time but its entertaining. Like today, this girl thought class was over so what'd she whip out? A damn Black & Mild(cigar), the choice of champions for a blunt.... Yeah to make matters worse it looked like it had been rolled with some ly(use your imagination) So maybe that class won't be too bad with all of the social interaction...Then I just came back to my nice cool room and made my list of things to get at Target later. Since I'm working out I have to manage my time a lot better and not waste so much time just sitting around... Went to lunch with Stubbs,Kolski, and then Gowdy showed up....good times. Well my damn calculator's batteries died so I can only do so much math for now, I won't have too much left. So it looks like tonight I'm going to work out again, maybe after a week or so I won't feel so damn out of shape. Well for now thats it kids, check back later tonight...

Song of the Day: "Prayer" & "The Convo" by DMX, yeah its not one song but the prayer and the convo should be heard together to get the full effect. Well heres the "Prayer":

"I come to you hungry and tired
you give me food and let me sleep
I come to you weak
you give me strength and that's deep
you call me a sheep and lead me to green pastures
only asking that I keep the focus in-between the chapters
You give me the word and only ask that I interpret
And give me the eyes that I may recognize the serpent
You know I ain't perfect,but you'd like me to try
Unlike the devil who just wants me to lie
till I die
Lord why is it that,I go through so much pain
All I saw was black,all I felt was rain
I come to you because its you who knows
you showed me that everything was black because my eyes were closed
You gave me the light and let me bask in your glory
So it was only right that when you ask for this story
I put it together to do our dogs some good
our dogs being,brothers and sisters in the hood
Plenty of times you sent help my way,but i hid
and I remember once you held me close,but i slid
There was something that I just had to see
that you wanted me to see so I can be what you wanted me to be
And I think I've seen it,but I don't feel the same
Matter of fact I know I've seen it,I can feel the change
and it's strange almost got me beating down your door
But I have never known a love like this before
It's a wonderful feeling to get away from the pain
and up under the ceiling I get away from the rain
And the strain that I feel when I'm here is gone
I know real so I wipe away the tears with a song
and I almost lost faith when you took my man Monty,Paso,and Jay's brother Dan
and I fear that what I'm saying won't be heard until I'm gone
but it's all good,cause I really didn't expect to live long
So if it takes for me to suffer,for my brother to see the light
Give me pain till I die,but please Lord treat him right"
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Work It
So I went out to dinner with stubbs, gowdy, amber, and anthony. It was pretty entertaining exchanging stories throughout our day. Then guess what I did after that... Yeah thats right, all you non-believers - I took my lazy ass to the SRSC to work out. There was a line to get into the weight room, whats up with that? I guess it was truely a "wait" room hahaha.... Yeah so we finally got in, like a was a nice club, and we proceeded to work out. It wasn't the greatest time to work out tho considering how many people were there plus I didn't know where any of the stuff is so half the time was spent walking around. Well I got to lift some weights and realized just how weak I've become recently, I'll blame it on working too much at Target while being back home and not having enough time to go to the gym...yeah, that sounds about right. Then we ran, and if you know me then you know I'm not the running type. Yeah I tried to keep up but like Gowdy put it in his blog "felipe didn't wanna dog it so he straddled the walking lane instead lol" - the rat bastard... Hey I atleast ran a little bit, even though I probably could've done more I just wasn't in the mood to. I atleast tried although I'm not an avid runner... It was fun tho and I'd love to do it again. Maybe I'll even start going regularly.... So I came back did some homework and had a lengthy very good convo with L that will affect me for a long long time... In case anyone wondered, I just mention L here and there and never really elaborate much on things with her - for a reason. I think that things between L and I are too personal and there are some things that should stay between two people. In no way do I want to give the impression that just because I don't mention a lot about you, whom ever you may be, I don't care about whats going on with you. There are just certain things I will refrain from writing about here. Well thats all for tonight, I'm about ready to pass out
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Un Momento
I just don't understand...I slept for a good 6+ maybe even 7 hours, more than most nights, but I woke up feeling like a zombie out of "Dawn of the Dead." So I laid in bed thinking about whether I should or shouldn't go to W131 since I didn't read any of the three reading assignments we had over the weekend - uh oh. But over the summer in my classes I refined my skills at Bullshittin' to damn near perfection. So we ended up getting in groups and discussing different things about the narrative essay we had to read...its funny how the person who didn't read a damn page wsa the one who came up with everything HAHAHA....So then I just came back to my room and slept until Kolski woke me up again asking me to go out to lunch. So I ended up getting up and going over to Wright in a hurry, I was barely awake to the point I locked my keys in the room..Well I had a huge lunch and then went to calculus ready for my head to explode with crazy ideas about limits... I'm glad my teacher is such a reasonable and understanding teacher, I hear terrible things about other M211 classes but I honestly look forward to go to calculus usually...Then X100, a huge lecture with 250 people...for that many people the prof has a way of talking to the class as if he were just talking to you, the individual. Last and certainly least favorite of my classes, A110 - the lab section. This is the only class that makes me want to drop out of school and destroy the nation's educational system... Then to make my day even better I come home to see that all of the butterscotch cookies that Kristin's mom made me have been eaten by my friend of a room mate...Even if you don't like rap read the lyrics from the Song of the Day, its a lyrical gem. Well I gotta do some homework before I go to dinner and then go work out! Yeah you read it right, WORK OUT!

Song of the Day: "Da Cipha Interlude" from Lyricist Lounge Vol. 2 (No not the terrible MTV show)
"Check it, yo
My presence is, overshadowin, we spit different
Your album's like a bad stock tip, I lose interest
I'ma kinda nice, keep your distance
You beg to differ, that's sicker
Somethin my mindframe can't picture
For 'Pac I pour liquor, in peace may you rest
If only the best rappers die then I know that I'm next
Never impressed; lyrically, shittin on crews
I rhyme first, what makes you think they checkin for you?"
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My Crazy View on a Crazy World
"Lets say life is just a string of actions, each action is like a bead that goes onto this string, when you get to the end of the string you work your way back taking the past beads off, whether that bead was a good/bad bead, it will affect your life in its current form although the "bead" may have been there for a
while," thats what I said to Mike D when asked about my views on life/karma.
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I'm Going Going, Back to Back, to Elkhart
Well if anyones wondering why I haven't updated this since Friday its becauseI went back home this weekend. On Friday I left and I ended up getting stuck in traffic on 465 around Indy because the President was in town. Then I went over to Purdue to pick Kristin up...I thought Bloomington was a confusing place but nope, West Lafayette was much much worse. So then I picked her up and on we went to E town hahaha....except we ended up getting lost for about 5-10mins and we got on the right way to home. So I ended up just dropping her off, eating, and went to bed...Well Sat morning my grandmother and my aunt went to O'Hare because they were leaving to Mexico that day. So I said my goodbyes for now and off they went....I then proceeded to connect a computer for my brother and started doing my laundry..Well Saturday was a well spent day with my boy Wayne aka Crow aka 2 Pistols aka Wheez and L. Isn't it funny how you don't realize how much you miss something until you're around it again...Well I ended up seeing Jeepers Creepers 2 that night, bad ass movie. Then came today, woke up and drove to pick Kristin up. Her mom made me these awesome cookies, they're so damn good...mmmm.... Well, the ride down here wasn't too shabby, had some good convo w/Kristin and then stopped at Purdue. Met her roommate/friends/ and some people from back home. Then I came to IU, I think going through West Lafayette is faster than going through Kokomo, who knows....Well I'm tired as hell so for tonight this'll be it...
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May I...
Well I wonder how far I can go without sleeping right. Hopefully by next week I'll have my "routine" down so I can study/play/eat/sleep in a timely manner. Yeah I know, setting up a routine and following it like a robot isn't good but what other choices do I have? Well I got up bright and early today, W131 is at 8 so I usually get up early so I can grab anything and make sure I didn't forget something. Well I didn't do the reading that wsa assigned, whoops! But it was mostly useless jargon on how to observe things about stuff, mainly academic essays. I've been doing that since June so I don't think I should read it, I'm pretty good at observing small details I would like to think. So we sat around the class taking a few notes about how to notice details and "The Method" - no not the man but an actually way of listing details and BLAH BLAH BLAH...yeah I really paid attention. But then we analyzed an ad for Skyy which was pretty bad ass. I really liked it, theres so much behind an ad - just the subtle little things contribute so much. I want to get into some art classes now, maybe next semester since this one I have most of my "hard" classes that are required to get into Kelly. So now I gots nothing to do...maybe I should go grab some breakfast all by my lonesome but then again my bed is seducing me to take a nap...hmm....all the possibilities. Before I forget, if you have any interest in rap(I dunno how many of you there are) check out Red Cafe, if I'm right about him he should be blowin up the scene within the next 1-3 years. Well for now, thats all folks!

Song of the Day:
"May I" by Red Cafe
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The Fires In My Eyes and the Flames Need Fannin'
Not much at all to my day, I feel like I was very productive overall today. I checked out the IDS and saw that they stole my idea of writing a story about bloggers. Those bastards, they must have my room tapped haha. But seriously I was super pissed..oh well, maybe its a sign that I shouldn't write for the yearbook. My A110 lecture session was pretty entertaining, the prof has a real passion for all things tech. He made us watch "Interner Killed the Video Star," a parody of "Videos Killed the Radio Star." Its a really funny video, just go to atom, there are also a ton of other funny videos on there. So I took a million notes per minute and got out there just fine and dandy. Came home and did my calculus homework for a long while, I'm finally getting pretty quick at doing some problems. So after working on my homework for such a long time I e-mailed my advisor so I could see if I can drop my X101 class since its such a waste of my time. I have enough trouble juggling calculus with everything else. So then I went to good ol' McDonalds with Gowdy and Stubbs to eat some food. Its not the best but hey I got tired of "campus" food. Then we just went back to Gowdy's place to hang out....I officially feel like a loser now because we spent the night playing chess...yeah you heard me right, chess. I don't know how to play chess but Gowdy said I've got some talent whatever the hell that means. Well sorry to cut it short tonight but I got a lot to do, I'm going home tomorrow so I gotta try to get ahead in all my classes as much as I can. Well I'll probably get one more update in before I go home so check back tomorrow.
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Rrring RRrring Rrring
So I'm sleeping and thats the noise I hear, who could it be? Guess who....it was Gowdy. I don't really remember why he called or what he asked me but all I remember is the nice sleep I was partaking in until the phone call. I took my ass back to bed and woke up later to get ready for class...X101 just might be the most boring class I've ever taken. We talked about how we take notes, and then we practiced taking notes. Who the hell practices taking notes!? I mean if you really need to practice then you might not want to continue your college career. There was one funny moment tho. The teacher was reading articles and we had to take notes on them, well one of the articles was about the wonderful thing I like to call; yayo, nose candy, snow, blow - cocaine and this one kid thought she said "propane," yeah that makes for an interesting article...just picture it, "Over one million people in american are addicted to it and 3000 teens and adults try it everyday, it plagues our society." Yup, propane is the worst thing that came out of Pandora's Box. So then I went to Target since I don't have anything else to really do back here at my humble abode. Just bought some stuff I needed for school and then bought "Bacon and Cheddar Cheetos Crackers," I'm not really sure how wise of a decision that was but hey, they were on sale. I'll admit it, I am a consumer whore. So now I'm just sitting around waiting to go to lunch with my couso(this isn't spanish) Stubbs. -screen fades to black-
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"My spoon is too big.......I am a banana!"
Bot much after class to write about...Went to Reed and eat a lot of food, once again I took the venture over there with Stubbs, Kolski, Gowdy, Ryan, and Jefferey. We ate a ton of food but the best parts were walking there and seeing an old computer monitor thrown in the might Jordan River and seeing this kid break a glass cup. Gowdy's reaction was something along the lines of "Whoops!" which drew even more attention to the poor kid. In other IU news the IDS, school news paper, there are two articles that interest me. One is titles "Aftermath of dorm porn still plagues IU" and the other titled "4 IU students featured in Playboy's 'Girls of the Big Ten' issue." Of course both of them I read as soon as I could, good stuff.. I'm glad that IU is all about porn, I mean porn is the reason VHS/internet has become as popular as it was/has. The most unforgettable thing in the columns was this; "One woman's family discovered the beginnings of their daughter's adult film career by watching Bill (The devil who can enjoy no form of media*) O'Reilly on his show....The woman's father then forced her to sit with him and watch the entire adult film, including scenes containing his dauther." *Note: italicized items were added by yours truely. Wouldn't that be weird, I mean watching porn with your parent/child that they took part in? Then I came back and did a lot of homework. I read crazy shit about how technology would evolve and then came the mention of "agents" that would be our assistants in life...hmmm...agents? Maybe the Matrix wasn't too far off. Think about it tho, if you could live in a simulated world that seemed perfectly normal would you? Or would you rather be in a desolate burnt earth where you could only live in this undergroung base? Yeah I know the Matrix isn't all that original and they supposedly "stole" ideas from writer Grant Morrison(if I remember correctly) but I'll give them credit for blending so much and presenting a live action comic book. Enough about that tho, on to calculus homework which took so long to do. I get to stay here during recitation tho since I understand all of my teacher's notes. Not much other than that today, I made Stubbs watch the beginning of "Magnolia," an awesome movie about chance. I know it sounds lame but if you watch the first 5-10mins you'll want to see the rest of it. Well its time to roll the credits!
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Free Ras Kass, Slick Rick, and Tony Yayo!
If I knew a nap could be so damn refreshing I would take naps everyday. After Stubbs woke me up I felt like I had been sleeping for years. I wasn't tired anymore so off I went to my calculus class. I'll give the teacher a lot of credit, she livens things up a lot. She makes the class very tolerable and makes it go by really quickly. I didn't even notice that I had written 4 pages worth of notes within 40 minutes. It didn't bother me any. I'm much more comfortable with my abilities to get an "A" in this class now, now thats some good teaching. Then I walked my way over to by business class. Not bad, we had to take an "evaluation" quiz. I think I did pretty good on it. Heslin, the prof, is a really funny guy. He even let us out early, he said he would but I didn't really believe him. So then came the boring as hell computer class. Its intro to computing so it covers ever little thing, like creating a new folder/document. The only useful thing I'll get out of that class is HTML coding, which we cover briefly today. So that wraps my day up, I have to read a few stuff and do some calculus homework but right now I'm starving and waiting for Stubbs to get here so we(Gowdy,Ryan,Myself, and Jefferey) can go to Reed and eat more food in one sitting than starving african kids do in a year. Hiyo! Yeah that wasn't the most politically correct thing to say but hey I can't change it. If you're wondering who Ras Kass, Slick Rick, and Tony Yayo are then look them up on Google for more details but they're all rappers who've been wrongfully(atleast Slick Rick) inprisoned. Well I'm off for now, for the song of the day I thought I'd mix it up so go on Kazaa and look it up.

Song of the Day:
"La Mujer Que Amas" by Pedro Fernandez (The Woman You Love)------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Call me 'Scoe, short for Roscoe P. Coldchain
I need more sleep....I got up and went to my first class,W131, and it wan'st much. Just a little discussion, it went well....pretty entertaining stuff. I don't have class again until 1.30 but maybe I can fit a nap in between now and then somehow, who knows? If you're at a college campus, visit the bathroom stalls, theres some interesting stuff written in them. This morning in Ballantine I checkout out the stall and I got a kick out of it. There was a poorly drawn image of a guy, with his three like almost touching his feet. Then there was something written by at that went along the lines of "Tired of the government's lies? Check out www.what the hell is said. com" Hows that for advertising? Putting stuff in bathroom stalls is a great idea. I mean what else are you going to do while you're sitting there? You might as well read the ads plastered on the walls of the stalls. So now its time for my nap, yay!!

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Check out the Guestbook
Before I forgect some new funny additions have been added to the book, no not the bible but the guestbook - one from Stubbs (the room mate) and an annonymous one who I hope really isn't Rody.
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I always try to be the happy blogger
And with that Gowdy left for the evening...now let me backtrack here just a second... I had my A110 lecture class, its a good sized class with about 350 people! Yeah thats right, but it didn't seem too bad. After that class I got a call from L, always nice to hear from you kiddo. I came back to the room and sat around for a few with Kolski, Ryan, and Stubbs. Gowdy showed up and we made our way over to Reed with everyone and Ryan's roommate, Jefferey. For those of you who aren't in the known, Reed is the all you can eat cafeteria, so I of course got my money's worth and eat like a mad man. Let me run down the list for you: 2 pieces of lasagna, 1 piece of garlic bread, 1 apple, 1 cheeseburger, 2 cookies, and a dish full of ice cream...mmm....can you say fat ass? Well I came back to the room only to pick up a book I didn't need. Went to the Union with Kolski and Gowdy, bought a book and took my ass to the yearbook meeting...All they want is writers! I'm not a writer, sure I can blog my ass off all day but this isn't getting professionally published, which is what it would be called if a story made it into the yearbook. Maybe tho, I may have scored some free tickets to go see Jerry Seinfeld for free if Gowdy takes me. Whats the deal with paying $60 to see Jerry? HAHAHA get it? So then I came back here and I actually did my reading assignment. It would good stuff, heres a sample of it; "Say you were born with rose-tinted lenses prermanently attached over your eyes, but you didn't know they were there. Because the world would look rose colored to you, you would pressume that it is rose colored. You wouldn't wonder whether the world might look otherwise through different lenses. But in the world there are other kinds of lenses, and reality does look different to those who wear them. Those lenses are cultural mythologies, and no culture can claim to have the one set of lenses that sees things as they really are." Word. Thats from "Signs of Life in the USA" by Sonia Maasik and Jack Solomon, check it out, it seems interesting so far. Maybe you could find it at Barnes & Nobles while visiting a beautiful girl **hint hint, wink wink** So with that I'm off because I'm tired and have to be up tomorrow for class at 8. Before I go tho let me leave you with some quotes I acquired throughout the day from various sources. Oh yeah and if you can, IM me to check out my new pimp buddy icon, cuz trick love the kids!

Quotes:

"The hardest thing about being a guy is not being shot down BUT is not being given a chance to run your game. " - The Gowdster

"whole wheat oats with creamy caramel make for a great anal cluster of leperchans and pixy fairy orgies on a hot muggy sunday afternoon at howard park" - Dan Adkins

Song of the Day(see Gowdy I didn't forget):
"Fly Me to the Moon" by good ol' Frankie Sinatra

If you're into any kind of music check out The 5.6.7.8's
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Uh Oh Uh Oh Uh Oh ------ Bananas!
I'm sure you've heard the Beyonce song "Crazy in Love" well what the hell does she say after saying "uh oh uh oh uh oh?" Well Stubbs says its "Bananas!" and I think he might be right. Why would she say bananas tho? I have no clue, maybe she was hungry and subconsciously she was just saying mm... bananas. Well I had my joke of a class, X101, its just a bunch of kids from the summer Groups program. Its how to learn business, well I don't really think I'll need to too much but its an easy A. Gowdy showed up too late to go out to lunch with us so he missed out but I did get to finish writing my English stuff so now all I have to read are 19 pages on Pop Culture. The textbook doesn't seem like it'll be too dry. So now I just have to go to my lecture class on comupter science. It looks like I'll have to do laundry either tomorrow or thursday...Maybe I could do it tonight while reading my english text book! What a great idea huh. Before I get to the next thing let me explain a lil' something. The mixtape scene is big in new york, its where rappers can just rhyme over beats or just free style. Mixtapes are put out all the time and its a great way to get your name out on the streets well there a point to this and here it is... I downloaded a song off of the new Streetsweepers mixtape and I feel like I should share a wonderful quote from the song. The song is "Fall back" and its by Busta Rhymes and Lloyd Banks. Well Banks has this funny witty little line, "Thats why ya bitch blowin' on me like Nintendo games" HAHAHA if you're old enough to remember the scene back when Nintendo came out, the cartridges didn't work and we had to blow on them. Crazy stuff, if you aren't into rap you might not care but good stuff is on the mixtapes, just check 'em out sometime. Well with that I'm off for now. Come back when you're ready

Gowdy: "We should call him Philosophical Phil"
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Mmmm.....Sleep
I love sleeping, although I didn't get to bed until about 12 last night I still slept great. Gowdy called this morning to wake me up for the yearbook meeting..I missed his first call but I actually got up when he called the second time, put some pants and shoes on then I was out the door. We switched umbrellas on the walk there, isn't it more logical for the big guy to be carrying the big umbrella? Well to me it is but the big umbrella, like anything large, got in the way and I accidentally hit a few people with it, whoops! Well we got to the meeting a little early, about TWELVE HOURS early...Gowdy thought it was at 8am but nope its at 8 PM. So we walked our way back to Wright to get some breakfast but we ran into Melissa, a girl Gowdy meet down here whos from Middlebury, and we all went to break the fast. I have come to the realization that college is nothing more than a string of coincidences loosely held together by time and/or shoe laces... I'm still a little tired as you can tell... Well I gots to get ready for my first class, I'll let you know how that goes when I get back from it - tata

P.S. Tony, good one in the guest book, unless it wsa you Gowdy
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Calculus Sucks a Woolie Mammoth's Stick of Miracle Whip
As you can tell by the title I'm not a big fan of Calculus homework, although its just currently reviewing various materials it still sucks. "Define the volume of a cube as a function of the area of the side of the cube" Yeah, whatever the hell that means. So all I have to do now is write up some stuff for english, which shouldn't take long. Today was a sit around, bummy day, finally got to pick up Soul Calibur 2 again and play, The Soul Still Burns... Today I went out to eat with Gowdy and Stubbs twice at Wright. Its not tasting like the "Wright" food for me anymore, hahaha...sorry I just couldn't help it. I got a chance to talk to L and express how I felt, which was really nice. Hopefully when I go home this weekend I can clear things up even further. I only have two classes tomorrow, one of which is X101(Learning strategies for business) should be cake. I have to go track down the rest of my books to figure out if I have enough money to make it to Purdue and Home this weekend and maybe I'll do laundry, I'm not really sure how much longer my boxer supply is going to last. Oh yeah I also have a yearbook meeting that I might go to with the Gowdster. It'd be nice to excersice my creative muscles and design some spreads like back in the day with Mike D. Speaking of exercise, hopefully I can get my lazy ass to the gym tomorrow to start working out again. I'll try to go with Stubbs, Gowdy, or Ryan - who would put us all to shame with his cannons- we'll see tho. Well if you haven't already checked out my links atleast check out the one for Kazaa Lite++, its a new version that blocks the greedy RIAA from finding you and sueing you for all you're worthy. As a college student I can't afford to be sued, especially since all I have are $12, I'd like to see the RIAA steal that much from me but I'm sure they'd everyone's money no matter how insignificant it would be. P2P sharing is great, so swap those files like theres no tomorrow kids and with that I'm off. Check back tomorrow for more antics and maybe a wallpaper featuring some hot hot ladies....

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My First Day of School
Well school has official started for me and I've just wrapped up my first full day. I had my M211(Calculus 2) which wasn't as boring as I thought it would be, the teacher seems to be alright and in touch with how kids feel about math. After that class I made my way to Kelly, the school of busnazz. On my way there it started raining so I pulled out my trusty umbrella and BAM! this chick just latches on so she can be safe from the rain. It was a wierd experience but she seemed nice. Didn't catch her name but I didn't really want to. My X100(Intro to Business) is pretty cool...its a big clas tho, 250 people, yup two hunded n' fiddy people, the teachers cool tho. He reaches the kids by entertaining us with obscenities, what a nice guy. Off I went to my Computer class...what a joke. Its a class that covers Word, Excel, and Powerpoint...My advisor was right when he said its just a blow off class. The teachers are both foriegn and it took me quite a while to finally understand what they were saying but I finally got the jist of things. The only worth while thing we are covering in the class is HTML editing, which should improve this site eventually. I also found out that I have to buy more books and I also have to return some books that those bastards at the book store sold me that I don't need. So I'll have to make a trip to the Union today or tomorrow. Well I'll leave you with this little nugget of wisdom from Gowdy and I's conversation....(I know that was terrible grammar)

runnastud03 (4:55:37 PM): how was class
PbcRealness (4:55:40 PM): good
PbcRealness (4:55:45 PM): im writing it in my blog
runnastud03 (4:55:47 PM): you mouse is real loud
PbcRealness (4:55:56 PM): how do you know?
runnastud03 (4:56:02 PM): so youre being impersonal like that
runnastud03 (4:56:06 PM): we were clicking it
runnastud03 (4:56:20 PM): im gonna read
runnastud03 (4:56:25 PM): tell me when something goes down
PbcRealness (4:56:29 PM): its just a way to relieve stress and reduce the redundancy of telling the same stories over and over again
runnastud03 (4:56:37 PM): OH I KNOW
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I can't see 'em comin down my eyes, so I gotta make the blog cry
Once again its on... well I'm not one to show emotion too much but I can't help it sometimes. I consider myself "stone faced" when it comes to my personal life affecting every other facet of me but this has been one of the exceptions...Lindsay, I don't know whether you are going to read this or not but I have things to say... I found heaven in a girl and it was the best thing to happen to me since sliced bread but life was going too good and as everyone knows, when life is going too good, fate throws you a curveball. I'd love to keep the relationship going while I was away at school but I think if I would've then things between L and I would've been too strained and I didn't want things to get to the point of no return...Worst case scenerio, things would've ended up like the Hendinburg(sp?) but I think this can preserve our friendship and closeness. Its not the ideal situ but when do things go exactly the way you want them? If you read this I just want you to know that I got nothing but love for you kiddo.... All this was inspired by Hova's lyrics from Song Cry; "I can't see 'em comin down my eyes/So I gotta make the song cry/I can't see 'em comin down my eyes/So I gotta make the song cry," Well I think I've done enough talk for now on here....check back later for more shinanigans after my next three classes!
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Done with my first class, I'm feeling good and confident about everything right now. My W131(English) class seems to be cake since I took essentially the same class during the summer. The class seems to be full of pretty tame people but it might be fun, the teacher seems to be ok.... Well Gowdy's convinced me to put a counter and a guestbook on here. The GUESTBOOK should be signed by all that visit this page, show you care and just jot down some words. Well I get to sit around until 1, I might go to the union and pick up some books I need for W131. Happy Labor Day!
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1 - The number of times I planned on writing in my blog last night...2 - The number of wallpapers I made last night...3 - The number of times I actually wrote in my blog... 3.5 - The hours of sleep I got...yeah I'm tired and I have class today. I'm sure I won't fall asleep but I sure as hell won't be too attentive either. I guess I can't sleep the day before classes start... last night before trying to sleep I talked to Stubbs about the "fat conspiracy," good stuff... I also found out that someone tried to blow up the urinals on the first floor, damn crazy college kids. Check out some links I posted to the right like Gowdy's works.


Song of the Day: "The Life" by Styles P ft. Pharoahe Monch
"My life is all I have
My rhymes, my pen, my pad
And I done made it through the struggle, don't judge me
What you say now, won't budge me
Cuz where I come from, so often
People you grew up with, layin in a coffin
But I done made it through the pain in spite
It's my time now, my world, my life
My life..."
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One more before I pass out in bed. I sent out an e-mail to all the guys in my dorm containing a picture of Britney, thanks for the spelling Gowdy, and Madonna kissing from the VMAs and I got some replies already. let me quote some of my folk:
"thanks man, that picture is bonerific. room 104"
"Thanks man, that picture is bonerific!!! room 106"
"on behalf of the guys in 9-304... i'm not particularly interested in this specific picture, but I would like to commend you wholeheartedly for sending that out to everyone. seriously, haha. it's good to know that you are thinking about all of us. I think all of us in hummer need to get "the kiss" poster with the lesbos. but hey that's just me.thanks again, we'll keep in touch"
I'll have to make a wallpaper of hot kung fu kissing action sometime this week. Oh yeah e-mail me at : felherna@indiana.edu to let me know what you think. the Pbc in my name means....drumroll please...." Play Boy Clique, an inside joke wayne, my bro, and I came up with a few years ago....I'm off to bed, for real this time..

Coming Soon....
Music Pick of the Day (Stubbs is a genius)
More Exciting Wallpapers!
More Adventures, Thrilling Entries!
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